A tall man with thick glasses, wearing a stained raincoat, with a whiny voice and hair on the back of his hands, is about to enter into your reality around sunset of the 16th. Welcome him / don't welcome him into your life it's up to you, but Jupiter quite likes the cut of his jib.

Saturn is determined to embrace you from afar with the beauty that is sweet food additives, favouring honey and lumps of sugar in all of their shapes and sizes. Enjoy if you have 10% or less body fat, otherwise the planets may be being sarcastic about your weight again.

In a similar vein, any attempt at working out will probably fail whilst the planets are in this unhelpful mood. Probably best to wait until the New Year.