As a cynic about most things, you rarely accept on face value the advice given by horoscope columns. Up to a point this has been a wise choice, however this month your ability to separate the wrong from the likely will be hampered in a complicated frenzy involving a popular boy band from times past.

This month you will receive a sign from the planets involving an old sock and a bottle or carton of milk. How this manifests itself is unclear, however make your best effort to understand this message as the future of capitalism in your world could very much depend on it.

This month your destiny wears the Hawaiian dress of a drunk fraternity brother.