An aging beautician will challenge you to an arm wrestle following a moment of unintended rudeness during work on your cuticles around the 7th. Go for the quick slam to start with, in the hope that the woman is a late starter.

Your refrigerator's thermostat will mysteriously adjust itself on the 14th during a blizzard on Pluto's Eastside. This rare occurrence dooms 10% of eggs in the refrigerator that are later fried to a moment of violent yolk explosion: best to boil all eggs until well after the 18th, or find a McDonalds which does not employ any Pisceans.

Your New Year's resolutions are likely to conflict with a red scarf bought you by a woman with hidden nipples.