Gemini - January 2008 - Funny Horoscope

A mix up at the Post Office has put your house on the 'possible terrorist' list, beware. Avoid acting suspiciously at all times, especially when mowing the lawn, washing your car, laying patio tiles, or at any other time where you could be viewed through a window or glass door from outside.

Water is set to make a welcome return to your life now that Venus has re-entered the Acquarian canal. Bathe liberally, and at length, never fearing your nakedness at any time. This reminds us: according to your chart, bathing nakedly has been poorly starred for the last year, we apologize for not mentioning this earlier, but we've had other things on our minds...

New Year's resolutions involving chicken leftovers may surprise at times and be much tastier than you first think.

 
 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
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Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19