Cancer - February 2008 - Funny Horoscope

Ball sports, and their kind, will pose multifarious difficulties during the coming month, especially when enhanced by alcohol and herb based muscle relaxants (when under such influences, take extra special care in particular when heading a ball, or when attempting rugby-type tackles using the whole of your body weight against a target below a competitors knee, especially if they are Taureans).

Spectators of sporting events also pose higher than enhanced risks, especially Cancerians standing in the line of a ball flying at speed into the exact direction of their heads. Take protective headgear with you at all times if you lack confidence in your ducking capabilities.

Romance is well starred this month in all of its fluffy-pink glory. In particular, the planets favor romance novels from old ladies with well talcum-powdered faces and licky yappy-type pocket-sized dogs by their sides.


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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19