You will find yourself out of breath for most of the month and will be unable to function properly without sudden sleeps at irregular moments. This is due to a Mercurial happenstance set to pepper the next six months with exhaustion and profuse sweating. Such symptoms may be masking actually serious medical conditions which your medical attendants should be called upon to deal with, however it is more likely that you will be laughed out of your doctor's surgery if he notices what your star sign is.

Try to enjoy any moments of levity in any shape or form. Failing that write April off and hide in bed with a good-to-middling book.