Scorpio - September 2007 - Funny Horoscope

Stockings and any feather-light leg coverings are badly starred this month, with laddering and tearing most likely following the Uranial equinox on the 9th.

Both sweet and creamy body lotions may offer considerable problems if applied incorrectly: Avoid prolonged strokes upwards, preferring downwards and wiggly left and right applications of any moisture laden beauty or erotic products.

A serious conjunction around the 13th bodes ill for seafood in all of its forms (particularly broiled or barbecued - but do not underestimate the problems associated with the live and splashy ones either).

The term 'none of your business' will be well used at times.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19