An unlikely confluence in the Oceans, brought about by the Moon's self-eclipse, will signify a troubled time for any boating activity. Even if you live nowhere near the Ocean, any water based pursuit is doomed to increased levels of haphazardnous, including leisure paddle-boating, fountains and taking a bath if you favor the use of plastic animals or bubbly-foam.

Soap of a yellowy brown color is not advised on the 9th, neither is face painting of zoo or farmyard animals after the 16th due to the risk of meeting someone who will look at you in an 'I could have painted that animal better' kind of way.

A kindly soul will provide a reason for a holiday in the first two weeks of the month, however try not to indulge in binge drinking which could lead to a case of mistaken identity when wearing fake plastic breasts.

This month destiny will laugh in the face of the crumpled nose.