Taurus - May 2007 - Funny Horoscope

This month is well starred for electrical repairs. If your DVD player has been playing up, and you have been waiting for a sign from the heavens, then this is the best month so far this year to attempt to open the casing with your handyman-pointy-tool. Have little to no fear about the bit where they warn you about 'invalidating the warranty if you go any further than this electrical isolation panel', the manufacturer's star sign is telling them to be kind to people who break their warranty rules, but only before the 16th of the month when Venus zips its fly.

Much is said about conjunctions in astrology: this month there are a record 87. This complexity is very difficult to explain here, but for a full description please consult our premium 0898 number which charges a very reasonable $18 per minute.

Tip for the month: Try to work the phrase 'cock-a-hoop' into a conversation after the 4th, especially if hosting a dinner party with chicken as the main course, your comedic irony will be well respected on many levels.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19