The round the world yacht race you are currently competing in will go badly unless the 'waxing of the timber' has been carried out frequently enough - we have absolutely no idea what this means, but if you are a yachtsman your life may well depend on it, according to what Planet Mercury told us.

David Bowie could come into your life this month in a way that you will find surprising. Stock up on red blusher and anything proven to make your hair stand up on end which doesn't also make a burning smell.