Cancer - March 2007 - Funny Horoscope

A Scottish ancestor, that you do not speak about in your family any more, could make an appearance which will have devastating consequences for the well being of a dwarf tree in your garden. Ensure the tree is watered throughout the month and top up with phosphates as required.

A milky drink will give you one of the soundest nights of sleep you have ever known on the 24th, which will fill you with goodwill to man and a generous tip to a street bum the day afterwards. Unfortunately the street bum will use this money to buy liquor and his damaged liver's only hope will be that the street tramp is prevented from finishing the bottle by a vicious beating by another street bum.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
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Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19