A salesman's cold call to your work number will introduce you to a whole new world of discount shopping on the 4th. You will be drawn to a snazzy sofa and chair set which will go well in your lounge, however the coverings will wear out suddenly after the 1 year guarantee expires.

Puddings with currents in are well starred after the 16th but only if eaten with a counterclockwise spoon movement.

Jupiter is about to enter a period of hostility with your type. It may be useful to learn an ancient Jupiter prayer in a pathetic attempt to placate this awesomely powerful planetary warrior.