Taurus - July 2007 - Funny Horoscope

Thoughts, which can only really be described as Kamikaze in nature, are predictably badly starred this month, especially after the 8th. Avoid oriental cuisine 5 days either side of this date, but, if this is unavoidable, try not to sit near an open window.

Jupiter's transgressions on a Neptunian trajectory, suggests avoiding hoppy-type animals, especially ones with pouches to hold their young. Do not return calls from a person called Skippy until late into November.

You have picked up an annoying, Saturn influenced, habit when shopping for vegetables in which you tut slightly while you do that squeezing thing experienced vegetable purchasers do to check the firmness of the produce. Avoid eye contact with shop owners until well after the purchases have been paid for.

This month, your favored meditation technique is to hold your breath while reciting quotes from the motion picture Dumb and Dumber.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19