a typical Virgonian JFK Assassination Conspiracy Theorist you refuse to listen
to reason. The last time someone told you it was Lee
Harvey Oswald, acting alone, you spoke for hours explaining all of the apparent
discrepancies that the Warren Commission didn't (apparently) address. Jupiter
and Mars will this month prove to you without any shadow of a doubt what a waste
your conspiracy arguing has been. Take this opportunity to reassess how wrong
you have been in other areas of your life.
chewy toffees and baby dogs are badly matched this month, unless you want to do
that thing where you put toffee around a mutt's mouth so that when the dog licks
his own lips you pretend they are talking by throwing your voice. Practice your
ventriliquisting skills during dull moments as there is a 20% chance you could
appear on local television after your dog enchants an executive's child.