As a typical Virgonian JFK Assassination Conspiracy Theorist you refuse to listen to reason. The last time someone told you it was Lee Harvey Oswald, acting alone, you spoke for hours explaining all of the apparent discrepancies that the Warren Commission didn't (apparently) address. Jupiter and Mars will this month prove to you without any shadow of a doubt what a waste your conspiracy arguing has been. Take this opportunity to reassess how wrong you have been in other areas of your life.

Soft chewy toffees and baby dogs are badly matched this month, unless you want to do that thing where you put toffee around a mutt's mouth so that when the dog licks his own lips you pretend they are talking by throwing your voice. Practice your ventriliquisting skills during dull moments as there is a 20% chance you could appear on local television after your dog enchants an executive's child.