A visit to a zoo, a leisure park, or a sleazy motel, will all end messily. Ensure bottled water is on hand and a rag to mop your furrowed brow.

Fortune readings will be only 13% accurate throughout the month. Ensure to cross-examine any clearly vague predictions demanding dates, times and colors.

A friendly dog will make itself known to you by the means of the 'nose in the groin'. The trick, in these circumstances, is to not grab your groin too quickly when you see the dog going for that area, as it could encourage the mutt to go in harder. However, avoiding to protect that area at all could be seen as sluttish in some circles. Mars and Neptune are being deliberately vague about whether wearing your underpants inside out will help. Typical.