Cancer - December 2007 - Funny Horoscope

Latin American dictators will, at times, make things awkward this month, especially ones that speak in Spanish and point violently when delivering their speeches. Be particularly wary of South American related commemorative plates which arrive unexpectedly in the post.

A rare alignment between Jupiter and Mars (whilst Pluto transgresses the plane of No Name) favors flying vases of the Ming dynasty. Ming dynasty vases have a particularly pleasing (to the planets) whoosh as they fly through the air with a dull egg-like smashing sound.

A spasm in your lower back bodes ill for your well-being in the coming months. Avoid prolonged exercise based thrusts and, specifically, bench dips, in the period leading up to the global gym membership rush in January.

 
 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
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