Virgo - August 2007 - Funny Horoscope

Jupiter has a message just for you this month: Either get a telescope and interpret the planetary 'winking' yourself, or look in your favorite newspaper or magazine horoscope on the 6th. Normally we do not rate newspaper horoscopes because they are wildly inaccurate and glib, however just this once take a peak. Interpret this widely for maximum accuracy, or use the method of the tea leaves when you feel up for it (tip: whatever the image made by the tea leaves looks like will happen this month).

Any of the methods of colonic irrigation are well starred, although, given a choice, best to favor the flexible plastic pipe approach and choose the most sympathetic looking person in control of the water pressure.

This month the stars all agree that the best tune to hum will be any Frank Sinatra standard, especially hits with the term 'shoooby doo' in them, which will peak in effectiveness around the 14th.


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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19