Gemini - August 2007 - Funny Horoscope

A moment of vitriolic haranguing between Neptune and Uranus means you are set for a tricky period of furniture related unease...

Avoid bean bags, on which there is an Orange grade advisory for this and next month. If you must sit in one, do not consume drinks or foods that crumble erratically, and never sit in one outside even if the weather seems to encourage you.

This month, watering pot plants is ill starred, especially plants with red and white flowers.

The planets suggest that you learn to hum, or whistle, a traditional Austrian slap dance favorite, ensuring that none of the slapping is performed, especially when hummed absentmindedly in a public place.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
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Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
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Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19