Cancer - August 2007 - Funny Horoscope

A chaotic month but one which will ultimately provide more answers than questions.

Do not become downhearted, even if the odds do look completely hopeless. If you find yourself outnumbered in a street fight, best to curb your Canceronian impulse of fighting everyone at once, choosing to pick your foe off one at a time in a snazzy martial arts movie type way.

A massive disruption, brought about by a solar 'wobble' in the Saturnian atmosphere, is likely to dislodge loose dental fillings from the 18th. Ensure a dentist appointment is honored and remember that your tears will only encourage your dentist to drill harder.

Your tune to hum, whistle or play on the harmonica this month is anything from the vaudeville era that mentions tropical fruit


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Mar 20 - Apr 19
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