will be struck by the sudden, all knowing, Eureka-type, realisation this month
that you are completely insane. Never fear! You are under the influence of a relatively
common turbulence in the Martian atmosphere. What is uncommon, here, is that you
will be standing directly under the influence at 6:04pm on the 4th with the result
that it will affect you 137 times more than usual.
person with a grudge to settle will use a strange martial arts technique to pull
you to the ground without touching you on the 8th. This is possible due to a temporary
conjunction of the Earth's chi with a Neptunian gravitational anomaly. It really
is hilarious to watch and Jupiter is looking forward to the event in a David-Copperfield-is-on-the-TV-with-a-new-magic-trick-tonight
knot you tied in your youth will come back to haunt you on Wednesdays.