In an impromptu moment of creativity over the coming month, possibly while you shower lavishly or, maybe, while cavorting in heavy rain, you will compose a bouncy melody you will name 'Not on your Nelly.'

You will sing this catchy tune to fellow passengers at the bus stop around 13th.

In under five years, a version of your melody will take the gay charts by storm.

Take pictures of everyone on the bus on the 13th to help in your copyright litigation later on.