A friend of ill repute who throws the best parties this side of Jupiter, will tell you a lie on 4th.

Beware: A black magic cult will throw spells at you from across the road at least forty-seven times this month. Try not to do anything twice and always look behind you as you walk down the street, moderating your pace randomly. You will invariably be saved by the fact that the members of the black magic cult are heavy alcohol abusers and their aim is poor.

Do not buy oranges from street vendors on 12th as they are off.