Avoid your humane impulse to jump in to water to save a drowning child in a local lake or swimming pool after the 23rd...

...they are making a film and you will just look like an ass.

Footage of this incident could even be used in comedy out-take blooper shows for the rest of your life, leaving you open to ridicule, the loss of your job and almost certain social exclusion.

You will drive past a soup kitchen which has your name on the front on 5th, toot your horn no more than 3 times.