A festering argument is set to fester more this month despite your best efforts. A Jupertian juxtaposition, around the 5th, will make attempts at reconciliation impossible when the planet materialises a Nazi desk, chair and interrogation lightset just at the wrong moment.

Welcome processed meat in all of its forms especially if in tins or if the best before date has been slightly exceeded by only a month or two.

A pot of tea brewed around dusk on the 18th will offer magical powers especially if served in expensive china cups: stir in a clockwise motion and ensure you put the milk in after pouring the tea for maximum magicality.

This month Mars will offer a chocolate based solution to a moment of snack based hunger.