The planets will conspire to force you to speak in a different accent between the 5th to the 17th, but only when talking on the telephone.

A manager will offer a glimpse of wisdom which you will be badly starred to ignore completely on the 11th, even though, at the time, and for a while afterwards, the wisdom seems dumber than dumb can be.

The Saturn influenced industrial relations with your employer look set to worsen further this month. Your 6 month-old go-slow may need to be slowed a little further. Stealing stationary supplies in your slowed down state is badly starred as, in the unlikely event that they don't see you slowly walking over to the stationary cabinet, the embezzled staples will inevitably find a way of sticking in you in painful ways, especially during the Sun inspired Equinox of the 21st.

This month your destiny will show itself to you in an explosive and yet pleasant smelling way.