Scorpio - August 2006 - Funny Horoscope

Space aliens will continue to make sporadic entries into your consciousness unless effective measures are taken to eliminate them with aluminum or silver foil. Be especially on your guard against alien-inspired middle management in all of its forms. Also, refuse to buy tickets for the cinema from anyone under the age of 20 until at least the lunar eclipse on Saturn's East side passes after the 19th.

Your lucky sport this month will be synchronized swimming, especially favoring the back stroke. For those who can't swim, ensure you put any buoyancy aides in the chest region to emphasis the size of your breasts if you are a lady, or lower down if you are a man.

Do not hesitate to slap down a noisy dog in any dispute over bones.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19