1: Peewee gets laid for first time

2 : Peewee has got laid

"Kim Cattrell in pre Sex and the City days... Thank goodness she is now playing quieter characters, or the whole of New York City would have been screamed to bits by now. Memorex that babe!"

"Porky's One, a movie of revenge without the boring bits - a triumph of High School derring do. Bravo... Porky's Two, a movie of revenge with the boring bits... Porky's three - Porky gets his comeuppance again. Thankfully the sequence stopped there as everyone was about 35 by then."

"A veritable cornucopia of High School hi-jinx. How wonderful to see the young guys winningly destroying a den of iniquity of such bully boy proportions. Bravo Boys! What happened to Porky in the second movie? Was he in it at all?"

"This is the worst piece of heterosexual poop I ever did see. Bring me a lady-boy to satisfy my unmet needs at once, bitch. Damn."

"And the good guys got away with it too? I want my money back."

"Is this movie based on a true story? We are never told."

"My, I may be completely out of touch, but how reasonable those fundamentalist Christians were! I have always found Shakespeare to be wholly unappetizing after an afternoon of watching the soaps."

"The second is not as good as the first - it gets a bit wordy in the middle - but its heart is in the right place, and following on from the original classic it was doomed to second place. I won't mention the third one, but at least Porky is in it."

"Reasonably intelligent in a mindless High School kind of way. The problem is, Number Two just does not have the equivalent of the classic shower room scene, although it tries with frogs in sexual positions, snakes in the toilet to scare Miss Balbrikker who has a breakdown, and circumcision of a KKK member. There is a third movie but I can't remember anything about it."

"A joyous moment of vomit heaven with that naughty-but-nice Wendy giving the senator his comeuppance for double talking doublespeak - things of which those grown up politicians are so fond. I would gladly pay money to see the cast in a middle life version - let's see how their principles have all been compromised. Shit. Damn. Hell fire."

One: "This broad must be from Brooklyn."

One: "Give me pussy or give me death."

Two: Rev Flavell: "So sayeth the shepherd." Followers chanting: "So sayeth the flock." Principal: "Get the flock out of here."

One

Angel Beach High is the setting for this movie where students organize hijinks when not trying to get laid. (Example: Cherry Forever, a prostitute, is hired as bait to get the guys out to a country shack, where a black guy then attacks their naked selves with a clever, chasing them into the woods. Another example: Peewee phones Wendy at the chili bar and asks for her to call for Mike Hunt - She screams 'Anyone seen "Mi Khunt?"').

Miss Balbrikker, a frumpy looking brawler-type boot of a girls PE instructor, is the butt of many jokes. She is determined to catch Tommy, one of the leaders of the group.

The famous Porky's shower room scene: The guys have holes in the wall of the girl's shower room - they go down here to watch them showering. In one incident, the guys are watching their female friends. As a joke, Tommy takes out his cock and puts it through the hole. By this time the girls have left the shower as Miss Balbrikker has arrived. She sees the cock, grabs it and pulls with all her might. After this she is determined to find the culprit and, based on the cock she pulled, is certain it is Tommy's. Nobody takes her seriously.

The guys decide to go to Porky's, but, when they are ripped off, they go back seeking revenge. They pull down the entire wooden structure, and get away with it.

Movie ends with Peewee having sex with Wendy.

Two

The next day. Peewee has now gotten laid. He attempts to get the guys back for the Cherry Forever stunt, but fails when he is double crossed.

Attempting to put on a Shakespeare play at school, local Fundamentalist Christians attempt to close the production claiming blasphemy - led by Rev Bubba Flavell who has teamed up with Miss Balbrikker. A senator Wendy knows promises them help, but does not.

Finding out that members involved with the KKK like watching porn movies, the guys use this to undermine Rev Flavell's campaign.

The movie ends with Wendy initiating a vomit fest at a restaurant she attends with the senator, a ruse intended to embarrass him for betraying his earlier promises to allow performance of Shakespeare to go on.

My High School teacher grabbed by penis when I shoved it through a hole in the wall: Is this abuse?

No, Porky's One is pretty much perfect for its type, number Two needs some work. The third one is not memorable.

Lots of sexy bits, number one is extremely funny, number two has very little sexy stuff in it but lots of vomit at the end.

Number one is genuinely very funny - lots of laugh out loud moments in a number of places.

Number two offers the promise, but does not quite deliver although the first half tries hard.

Entire sex shop contents, including giant sized condoms and your own portable hole in the shower room wall for reenactments of the shower room scene with the partner of your choice.

High School: Hated it when you were there, loved it when you left and for the rest of your life you look back on it with an unjustifiable warmth.

0. Three impressive nose biffs.

The f-word usage is a little predictable, but the first movie uses the term 'c-word' very winningly.

The "Is My c-word (Mike Hunt) here" piece is truly awe inspiring and it is amazing this ever got through the censors at this time (1981). An award for that, at least, is deserved.

The sequel is a reworking of the bits that worked so well in the first outing. Number one is a very good movie, deserving of a classic entry in this review series for its type (the first of the modern High School teen flicks?). However, when both movies are taken together, the two movies average down to popcorn. Include the third one (Porky's Revenge) and it goes further down.

A reasonable attempt at handling anti-Semitism in One. In Two, a number of issues are handled, such as the boy-girl hypocrisy of stud Vs slut, anti-black prejudice (KKK) and references to sex/blasphemy in Shakespeare. Worthy and funny. A worthwhile endeavor due to the strength of the first movie. However, homosexuals still get it in the neck even though, from a racially tolerant point of view, the movie is intelligent.

There is a third Porky's movie in which Porky sets up a casino on a boat which is inevitably trashed by the guys. By this time, though, the idea had literally run out of steam, and the actors were clearly too old for High School.

March 7, 2002