Studio executives
summary / pitch
|
| DH
Lawrence classic on the big screen... naked wrestling by the fireside and skiing
in Switzerland also feature... |
Short plot
summary |
|
Ken Russell's
adaptation of DH Lawrence's novel. It follows the lives of two men and two sisters
in 1920's English high society. Gerald Crich (Oliver Reed) is involved in a loveless
relationship with Gudrun Brangwen (Glenda Jackson) whom he almost kills when he
finds her playing around with a homosexual acquaintance in Switzerland. But is
he capable of love with a woman? Or is he (EEEEEeeekkkk!!!) gay??? His
friend, Rupert Birkin (Alan Bates), is happily engaged with Ursula Brangwen (Jennie
Linden), but loves Gerald too. |
What our
panel of critics thought |
"I'm
not surprised this movie is remembered solely for the naked mano-mano wrestling
by the fireside, as it is one of the most boring movies I have seen in a long
while." "The
wrestly-bout brightened up my movietertainment experience considerably, even though
I had to endure wobbly willies on the big screen which is something I normally
avoid." "Now
that Alan Bates and Oliver Reed are dead, it is time to say who had the biggest
willy. Reed wins hands down in our books. Bravisimo! A gargantuan penis! His willy
will shut the critics up or nothing will!" "Whilst
the naked wrestling by the fireside is divine, the
facial beards detract from the homoerotica somewhat. Call me old fashioned, but
it's just moustaches for me, or it just doesn't work my dear... when I kiss a
man on the lips I don't want it to feel like I'm kissing a donkey's arse..."
"In
Argentina they edited the naked wrestling bit and the way they did it made it
look like our hairy heroes had just had sex together. A joy from chest slap to
buttock kneed!" "God,
if homosexuality was this boring it would have died out years ago." "Two
men in love with each other with women at their sides! A great short, but a terribly
boring long story, although the Swiss mountains look peachy at this time of year!" |
Please
tell me the ending.
|
| By
the end of the movie, Gerald and Gudrun have separated. Gerald does not love Gudrun
and almost kills her in the Swiss snow. Ursula and Rupert end the movie discussing
his love of Gerald: She tells him that 'you can't have two kinds of love.' He
tells her he doesn't believe that. |
If I were
to wrestle this at home how best should I start? |
In
the bollock naked position of slap butt nakedness... Jump up and down to make
sure everything is wobbling correctly. BEGIN! CHARGE! |
Could this
movie be improved with more philosophy on life? |
Can
a man love a man? Love a woman? Love a woman and a man? Love a dog? Love a car?
These are the issues wrestled over by Lawrence in this long and tortuous movie.
(The answers are Yes to all the above if you didn't know.) If we can say that
in just a sentence why oh why oh why couldn't he - was he being paid by the word? |
Does this
film stand up to modern professional wrestling entertainment standards? |
This
movie shocked polite gentlefolk of the late 1960's when it came out (yes, the
movie as well as the willy's). It was the first time naked man-on-man wrestling
had ever been seen on the big screen in the UK. The
wrestling match is all a bit too slappy in places, for us, and there is a terrible
moment when Rupert grabs Gerald by the pecs and is prized tortuously away. There
are a few nice runs and grabs however, and the slapping sound is nicely done.
The whole scene has a nice, warmly lit, feeling to it. Once seen you will never
forget it. |
Would your
cat enjoy this movie? Would your dog like it? Other pets? |
| Dogs
will love the naked wrestling, especially if they have never seen a human penis
before. There is the normal dog willy in a movie warning here - ie never shout
fetch - but even so, most dogs will watch with ears standing up (possibly with
tongue out) in anticipation of an interesting nose stuck in the groin in prospect. Cats
are great fans of pubic hair in all of its forms, and will watch, enraptured,
during the naked wrestling. Medium
to small snakes will enjoy this movie, larger snakes will get bored. |
What
naked wrestling moves can I take from this movie to make me a better person?
|
| Slap
your opponent's chest in the middle, then step backwards, bouncing up and down
on the tips of your toes... |
How much
would you pay for a copy of this movie in goods? |
| An
invisible wrestling trunks and mask set. |
How many
logs should you put on the fire before your naked wrestle? |
| Three. |
Is there
enough slappy sex in this movie? |
|
There is a fair
amount of male-on-women sex, some of which gets a bit hard-core at times. No male-on-male
sex though. |
Other comments
|
| A
tortuously long, boring, movie. But you have to see the naked wrestling bits just
for your general education.
Glenda Jackson is absolutely brilliant, as always, however we lost the will to
live in the last half hour of the movie.
If you want to go straight to the wrestling scene it is virtually slap bang in
the middle of the movie (about 1 hour in). |
IMDB.com
direct link to this movie |
|
|
Date
of review |
January
22, 2004 |