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Transformers (2007)
Short plot summary

Building sized robots can disguise themselves as cars and helicopters and articulated trucks and they are on earth waiting for a cube to come. (And there's no point in you running for the hills because they can run faster than you.)

Based on the Hasbro plastic models of the same name and their cartoon series which promoted them in the 1980s.

What our panel of critics thought

"Some of the best computer graphics in a movie to date. Shame the dialogue was written by a spotty, horny teenager."

"This movie delivers some of the best CGI effects to date. Absolutely brilliant effects in fact. The action sequences are pretty much excellent, however the dialogue, especially early on in the movie, is quite appalling. If you like the look of this movie then you won't be disappointed. See also Armageddon."

"Was this movie sponsored by Ebay? Nokia? Dodge trucks?"

"This movie is a disgrace! I had a Transformers plastic robot/car once and the robot that came out of the car always bared some relationship with the size of the car before it changed. In this movie the robots are the size of buildings. It makes no sense at all."

"There is an absolutely terrifyingly great movie in here somewhere. Unfortunately this is not it, but maybe one day. Transformers 2 is on the way. Nah, not there either."

"If Ebay ever have an Optimus Prime, Megatron, Autobots sale, I'd like a yellow one please."

"More actors from 24 in this movie than in 24 itself. Tick tick tick."

"Ho Ho Ho. 'Bumblebee stop lubricating the man' - one of the all time great movie quotes in history?"

"The parents deserve a spin off series of their own."

Please tell me the ending

The glasses Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) kept from his great great grandfather were encoded with some information. It was no coincidence that Sam found the robot first car... The world is saved just in time for the end credits to roll.

Other comments
A couple of beers in you and this movie is quite satisfying. Forget the dialogue, and some of the early non action sequences, and this movie is fine. A++ for the CGI effects and action sequences, C- for the rest of the movie.
Date of review

January 3, 2009

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