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The Transporter
Short plot summary

Frank Martin (Jason Statham) is The Transporter - a cool driver guy who lives by a set of rules. Unfortunately he breaks those rules within 20 minutes of the movie starting by opening a body bag in the back of his car to find Lai (Qi Shu) - he allows her a drink and it looks like a love affair is about to start.

What our panel of critics thought

"Not as big chested as Vin Diesel, but what Jason Statham lacks in width he makes up for in mule kickage, and bitch slappage."

"All a load of old nonsense, however it is a very pleasant movie to watch. Lots of humor and no tattoos to speak of. A joy."

"Cool. Wizzy. Kerpow, and yet soft'n'sexy in the nice Nice sun. A South of France triumph of cartertainment."

"XXX meets Fast and the Furious, sautéed in a James Bond vinaigrette, roasted in a Columbo flame, with a pinch of Clouseau. Apart from that completely original."

"That girl-on-a-rope, going for a pee, bit, was my favorite moment in the whole movie - I have seen a very funny Candid Camera where they did this: they waited for the woman to start peeing and then they would pull her back in. Hysterical. Unfortunately this movie does not try such a comedy highlight, a wasted urinatunity."

"Lia is terribly screamy. It is such a shame our hero removes the duct tape so early on in the movie."

"One of the worst American accents in a while from a Brit, but on listening to the DVD it was supposed to be this bad. Hmm!"

Please tell me the ending or whole plot if necessary

All the baddies are killed, but it's a close run thing. Our hero has to survive rocket launchers on his home, exploding brief cases and shirt off wrestle-fu in brown syrup.

Lia, who initially turns on our hero, comes good in the end by shooting her Daddy just in the nick of time (he has been involved in an illegal China person smuggling racket).

Quotable quotes (real)
"We have a saying in France: Nobody believes the cook."
"He was a bastard but he was still my father."
"You are always complaining, except when we make love when you say nothing."
Other comments

A mindless actioner with superb scenery, lighting and some nice jokes. This movie is really pleasing on the eyes and ears. Not a mind movie, which is why it has been put in the popcorn strand, but still a really good waste of an hour forty.

Date of review

June 29 , 2003

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