Race to find tomb of dead guy not much pleased to see them.

"A veritable cornucopia of 'you must not read from the book ness'. Oh for that time in ones prepubescent life when pesky spirits could be called upon to scare the willies out of oneself and all those within earshot 'round the old camp fire. But when a wizened cynic, such as meself, watches this movie, all one hears are the cash machines a'ringin, and the bottom draw pinging out into the collective cultural mush, causing considerable brain-pain."

"In the first scene, which is a montage of live action and animation: I could see the join. Can I have my money back please, I think the movie is broken."

"Well done Brendan Fraiser for knocking yourself out in the hanging scene. It's nice to know that big Hollywood stars are not afraid to be hanged by their neck like that in a motion picture."

"I originally thought that the bit where Brendan Fraser has a sword fight with about 20 Mummies towards the end was a triumph of Mummy mayhem. Then I saw how they did it on the collectors edition DVD. Mr Fraser, how can you live with yourself making those poorly paid special effects people put in the Mummies afterwards? I suppose the lion wrestling bit in George of the Jungle was faked too? Just in case: please cancel my subscription to your fan club at once!"

"Rachel Weisz - how unlucky to topple those bookcases like that, it must have cost a fortune, I hope they didn't take the money out of your pay for this movie!"

"I dozed off after the bit when they boarded the boat and the next thing I noticed they were in the tomb. Did I miss anything?"

"All the action of George of the Jungle but none of the lion wrestling."

"A sort of remake of the 1932 film but with a budget of $80million and in color."

"You can see where they spent the budget on special effects. The bug which comes out of his neck and into the hole in the side of his face before he chews it was one of my favorites. A triumph."

"If this movie is like Scooby Doo, which character is Brendan Fraser? Shaggy or Scooby himself? Hmmm, nobody tells me nothin."

Empress is unfaithful to Emperor. Lover arrested and entombed and cursed as painfully as possible in punishment - The Mummy.

3000 years later his tomb is discovered. Two adventurers lead parties to discover the tomb.

After waking the dead, and fighting all the baddies threatening to kill them all, all Mummies disposed of efficiently and to budget.

All humans live happily ever after. Roll on the sequel.

"All my life I have never found anything, please tell me I've found something."

"Jonathan, I think you've found something."

In the about to be tattooed position - just after you have told your tattooist to pick any part of the body and not to tell you which part he is to go for.

Scooby Doo where are you?

"I was caught 3000 years ago having an affair with a married woman. I've been entombed with beetles for 3000 years slowly eating away at my flesh but now I've been reawoken. Now I've got to be a modern guy? Give me a break, I deserve to be BAD! Yea baby!"

It's 13 rating through and through. No nakedness. A couple of lips touching, nothing to upset Gran, kids might want more however (especially European kids).

Action adventure holiday tie in.

Animatronic life-sized camel for walks to the park and around the garden.

Brendan Fraser 'George of the Jungle' wig.

Brendan Fraser style mop and bucket.

Glenlivet 12 year old Scotch - product placement tie in.

Cats would get bored - preferring to take the remote control apart and putting it back together with their noses.

Dogs will like the special effects. After chasing the wheels on a car, it is most dog's fantasy to find a human covered in bandages which they can grab hold of a piece before unwinding violently. Once the unraveling starts, young cats could then become interested.

Parrots will enjoy the high pitched screams of the undead

If your brother gives you a small box he found somewhere, don't go into the middle of the desert looking for where it came from.

Ten stuffed (or whatever you do to them) butterflies out of a collection of 30,000.

No, terribly disappointing effort. Damn is the strongest word. However, look on the bright side: at least no one says flibbertigibbet (See Mary Poppins).

There is a nice trick where mirrors are used to light a tomb, but no diagrams are offered for this.

Some very good special effects, but there is never any doubt of the outcome.

Never gets more scary than the original series of Scooby Doo.