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Matrix Reloaded
See also, our Funny review of The Matrix, Matrix Revolutions
Studio executives summary / pitch
Well, the first one did so well... it would be rude not to do another two. This is the second of the trilogy...
Short plot summary

Neo, The One (Keanu Reeves) is now in love with Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) - he has to decide whether she lives or dies (or has he already decided?)

The machines are preparing for a final assault on the human's who reside in Zion (a lusty place where humans congregate to dance and sing and rub their naked bodies against each other to deeply pounding sexy rhythms...)

Zion could be destroyed if Neo makes the wrong decision... luckily his choices have been whittled down to the choice of walking through one of two doors...

What our panel of critics thought

"A bit like a video game but with no control over the characters. Is this all part of the illusion of the Matrix? The watching of the movie when you could be controlling it in the world of the video game? My Oracle me, it's a whole philosophical argument for the new millennium, and sooo profitable...."

"More philosophical-religious references than you can shake Moses's stick at. Unfortunately the Red Sea isn't parted here, or was that supposed to be the bit when the building explodes? Oh nobody tells me nuthin!"

"There's a horrible 9/11 flash back sequence here when the middle of a high rise explodes. Was that the real reason this movie took 4 years to come out?"

"The action sequences are exquisite, however the plot is in dire need of episode three..."

"Swearing in French? I do hope they translated that into English for the French language version, it sound positively naughty! A delight from start to fini!"

"Presumably this is a deep movie, however my money is that Professor Noam Chomsky could have explained all this in less than the 7 hours it takes for this trilogy to run. Our Noam doesn't look quite as good as Keanu Reeves with his shirt off, accepted, but he could probably save 6 hours of your life."

"Is it possible for a movie to be so pretentious it spawns a whole new philosophical modus operandi? No, didn't think so. Competitively priced double DVD to keep though..."

"It was only the loud banging that kept me awake."

"Does the Key man do shoe repairs too - that would be handy!

Please tell me the ending or plot overview if necessary

Is the Oracle to be trusted? In this installment we find out that she is a part of the machine, a fragment of code that has gone wrong, or right?

Agent Smith has found a way of replicating himself (he can stick his hand in someone's stomach and they turn into him!) All the Smith's pick a fight with Neo, but, of course, the flashy biatch escapes. 500 against 1? He's the One! Go Neo, Go Neo, Go Neo!

After saving Trinity, Neo does his bullet stopping trick on the machines and it knocks him out... Whadda we gonna do? But, hey, wait a minute, is that another hero type lying there next to our almost dead Neo? You know, I think it is... Hurrah! for episode three!

Quotable quotes (real)

"Upgrades!"

"Me me me!" ..."Me too!"

About Swearing in French: "It's like wiping your ass with silk."

"Choice is an illusion created by those with power, for those without it."

Girl to boy: "I'm talking about the lipstick." Boy to girl: "Lipstick, there is no lipstick" (wipes his lips with his hand). Girl straight back at boy: "She's didn't kiss you on the lips, my love" (looking at his crotch).

Boy twin to other boy twin: "We are getting aggravated..." Other boy twin: "Yes we are..."

Is there enough licky love in this film?

Yes the moments of pash between Trinity and Neo are reasonable. As are the highly erotic crowd scenes in Zion.

How philosophical is this film?

Oh my Oracle! The whole world is an illusion created by the machines. Ghosts, angels, werewolves are all little bits of code that have gone crayzee... Neo is the One, a Jesus Christ type figure with a set of skills which include flying like Superman, stopping bullets like Superman, and fighting many people at once, just exactly like Superman, in fact. I do hope the guy's at Marvel comics aren't watching, it could be an expensive lawsuit.

Suggest marketing tie-in products based on this movie

10 disc DVD complete and utter everything about this movie you would ever want to know.

Cartoon series.

Slow motion workout martial arts DVD and mittens set.

Do the fight scenes look realistic?

No, let's be honest here: hitting someone with your open hand isn't going to work...

And if you have a fight with someone wearing sunglasses and you don't even manage to knock them off... something is not going to plan.

In the first scene there are a couple of missed punches we caught on the DVD. However it's all so fast and furious most people probably won't notice...

Would the martial arts bits make your cat jump out of your lap causing scratch marks? Would your dog like it? Other pets?

Cats may attempt to perfect their slow motion, and then very fast, paw-fighting skills, perhaps practicing with a small stick at times. Hide vases, or bowls with fishies in them.

Dogs don't like the idea of fighting on top of a moving truck and may whine uncontrollably.

Pet stick insects may get ideas above their station.

How much would you pay for a copy of this movie in goods?

A slow motion slap in the face with an open hand.

Would this movie win awards for performances of the f-word?

B***s*** is the strongest language spotted.

Does the film attempt technobabble? If so does this succeed?

Alert throughout: This movie is peppered with talk of prophecies, young guys looking at computer screens and shouting "Yes!" (fists punching the air), and young computer Hollywood-geek types looking concerned (as if they can do something about whatever they have just seen on the screen).

There is talk of blowing up power supplies (at this time in history we seem to be suffering from a number of power blackouts from New York City/Chicago to London and Italy!).

Those who like swearing in French have a bonus here, although we are not sure how rude this is (if you know please e-mail editor@thevoiceofreason.com and we will publish it).

Other comments

Brilliant fight sequences, but take that out and you are left with an attempt at philosophical technobabble which you might want to take or leave.

Undoubtedly the action sequences are technically the best example of their type at this time in movie history, and are very entertaining to watch.

Accusations that the philosophy is all a load of pretentious crap, however, might be hard to defend at times.

If you have never read philosophy, use this movie as an introduction to find out more. Great minds have philosophized about this stuff and the end result, albeit less action packed, is somewhat more profound.

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