Leonardo diCaprio plays Richard, an American backpacker in Thailand (no jokes about Phucket anywhere - are they playing for laughs or not?) He is given a map by a loud Scot and finds the island with two French friends. It is all idyllic, and then...

15. Contains moments of part nakedness, upper arm female nudity, graphic scenes of licky lust in tents. Death by shark. French people.

"Doesn't really make much sense, why would the Thai gangsters ever allow The Beach to exist in the first place?"

"Horror in paradise. The movie is in dire need of Bob Hope or Bing Crosby, or any late 1940's style crooner, if you ask me young man."

"Nothing but an excuse for young things to run about with not much on. Baywatch fans will enjoy, although big wobbly boob lovers will be disappointed."

"An OK film. I didn't exactly care much about any of the characters."

"Redemption song cheered me up no end after that bloody shark induced jaw fest."

"Both nice and nasty all rolled up into an easy to market package. I could care less about this movie, but put my name down for a screen saver..."

The Thai drug growers who control the druggie bits of the island, and allow the Beach to exist, act following an increasingly 'surfer dude' type of visitor to the beach...

But don't fear, Leonardo's character lives on to enjoy internet cafe heaven at the end of the movie.

Chewy Aboriginal caterpillar with steak sauce.

In the treading water on land position, either on your side or back.

The two surfer dudes are necessary for the plot and are satisfying, and yet do not challenge, their generic type.

The Beach itself is surprisingly European for an American movie, with discussions on Soccer (called football in Europe). However it is a very polished 2 dimensional island, picture postcard at best.

60% of the characters do not make it to the end credits.

A golden posing pouch for your six pack, Sir.

A remarkable amount of swimming in this movie. This time (as opposed to Titanic) Leonardo manages to stay afloat, surviving to the end without turning blue.

An awful moment of internet technobabble at the end where Richard, in an internet cafe, gets an email from Francois - the picture reveals itself and then a hand inscribed signature sweeps across the screen... weeee...

This movie is from a debut novel which remarkably (we don't read that much) we read at the time of its release. The book is quite a good page turner and the movie captures the spirit of the book, although, if memory serves, a couple of the characters have been merged.

Not a great movie, but stylish in places. For those who have never gone backpacking it offers an insight into the spirit of that form of travel. The novel was promoted as the first backpacker novel of its type, certainly the subject matter is an interesting one and we wish it well.

February 17th 2003