Studio executives summary / pitch
|
| Key
video nasty of the 1970's, widely banned at time of release. Black comedy (?),
surprisingly few giblets - but don't trip over those bones! Screaming and leather
masks throughout. Tobe Hooper has agreed to direct. |
Short plot
summary |
|
Group of 'pesky
kids' (Sally Hardesty (Marilyn Burns), Jerry (Allen
Danziger), Franklin Hardesty (Paul A. Partain),
Kirk , (William Vail), Pam (Teri
McMinn)) who are out in their "Scoob mobile", seem doomed to
decapitation due to circumstances beyond their control. Seems shmeeems babes! |
What our
panel of critics thought |
"Has all
of the enjoyment of a snuff movie crossed with Scooby Doo, but without the dog!
And hey kids: Willma is a guy! A slasher from hell triumph!""A
horribly vicious movie of senseless killing in old out of the way houses. Nice
weather though.""It
reminded me of that old Smith's track - 'Girlfriend in a freezer, I know, I know,
it's serious'. Morrisey is such a joy after movies like these.""A
triumph of being nasty to a guy in a wheel chair! How juicily ironic! PC this
bitch!""If
you are one of those girls who just has to start screaming when she hears another
girl scream, it's probably best not to go to watch this in a cinema.""You
will never be able to look a butcher-with-an-apron-on in the eye again!" |
Please
tell me the ending or whole plot if necessary
|
| Sally
runs away into the darkness (presumably the batteries have run out of her finger
sized flash light). She finds sanctuary but doesn't realize that she has run into
the home of the best friend of leather face. Oops. Doh! Oops again!! Then
she realizes. She grabs a knife, but doesn't recognize that the guy is an expert
at disarming people with a broom. Commotion ensues and Sally is overpowered and
put into a sack. She
is driven to our anti-hero's place where she is tortured, but eventually manages
to escape by the classic 'jump through a window' move, popular in movies at the
time. (Luckily it wasn't strengthened glass or she would have bounced back embarrassingly.)
She runs like the wind and eventually escapes in the back of a car. |
Quotable quotes (real) |
|
"I
hope you're not too uncomfortable down there." "Aaaaaarrrgggghhhhh
- eeee ssshhhhhhcccrrrreeaaammmm!" "I
told you to stay away from that grave yard." |
What snack
should I eat while watching this movie? |
|
Blood red marshmallows
toasted on a small open fire. |
If I were to watch this at home how best should I sit? |
| In
the position of hiding behind the sofa. |
If
a character(s) from this film were to be asked onto daytime TV to sell something,
what would they sell? |
|
Knife sharpeners. |
Is there enough chopping up with Chainsaws in this film? |
| The
splicing-up-with-chain-saws is balanced with a creative use of the hand held chopper
(no sexual metaphor intended). Meat hook lovers, too, are well catered for. |
How
funny is this film?
|
| Some
moments of true irony, especially with our wheelchair bound victim-hero being
sent a tumblin' down a hill. But he bounces back after a little help from his
friends, only to be cut in the arm by a badly selected hitch hiker. Poor bastard. The
genre has been well satirized before and, yes, the movie is populated by people
who go looking for their missing friends in the dark, armed only with the wind
and a small flash light. |
Does this film stand up to rigorous reality testing? |
| A
truly disturbing horror fest which, thankfully, leaves the blood and giblets to
the imagination, but little else. Horribly vicious. A truly hateful movie. If
you enjoy this movie you are sick. Kill yourself. |
Would your
pets enjoy this movie? Would your dog like it? Other pets? |
| Rotweillers
(or any dog weighing over 168lbs) will enjoy this movie, however it is probably
best to remove their teeth before watching it otherwise serious furniture damage
could ensue. Cats
will see nothing wrong with this movie: Given half the chance they would do this
to birds and mice. Sensitive
field mice may need counseling afterwards. |
What
can I take from this movie to make me a better person?
|
| Always
ensure you have the safety guard on Chainsaws firmly fixed at all times for your
safety and for that of others. |
How much would you pay for a copy of this movie in goods? |
| A
pound of sausages. |
Would this
movie win awards for performances of the f-word? |
| There
is little swearing, perhaps it's all drowned out by either screaming or Chainsaws.
A disappointment. |
Does the
film attempt Redneckobabble? If so, does this succeed? |
| This
movie is a triumph of toothy rednecks in leather masks and laughing about pain
infliction's to come and of times past. There is no redneck equivalent of a seminar
or any attempt to analyze what they are doing, which is a relief, but this is
possibly something for the sequel. |
Other comments |
|
In its time
this movie caused much controversy and was widely banned. It is a truly vicious
movie with little to enjoy. This is one of those movies to get through, to say
you've seen it. Has
none of the class of The
Exorcist, we felt the original Evil Dead was our definition of horror,
but haven't seen that recently so don't quote us on that one... There
is little gushy-blood and oozy-gore in this movie, however, which is a relief,
although it contains scenes which really are truly disturbing. |
Date
of review |
| April
20, 2003 |