Boy (Peter Parker - AKA Spider-Man (Tobey Maguire)) fancies girl (Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst)). Boy meets spider, spider bites boy, boy becomes super hero, upside down boy kisses girl, girl tells boy she loves him, boy says he will always be there for her, but love schmuck babe.

All the fun of the puberty fair made worse by jets of web from wrists and having other super hero family members out to bring you down hard (hang on a minute, is the bad guy related or not, go figure.)

"Mr Dafoe, congratulations, not an ounce of fat upon your hard physique. Not bad for a crinkly."

"The moment where the chocolate sauce slaps onto the head of, completely bested, Flash is one of the best moments in a movie for many years. Almost as good as the manure in the car of that kid in Back to the Future 2."

"Toby, what a body, my dear, you must have lifted a number of very heavy library books."

"Is everyone in Spider-Man's world related? It's as bad as that last series of Miami Vice, but without the cool 1980's fashions. However, I feel sure that Crocket could never have worn that Spider-Man costume with such gusto!

His uncle, who brought Peter up, gets killed after Peter fails to stop a burglar from robbing a wrestling promoter who has just ripped him off... and... and... so Spider-Man gives his life to helping out those in trouble, and, especially, to tease a girl...

Yes, folks, there's something about Mary Jane, who, after Spidey saves her a coupl'a times, says she loves him. He doesn't return the compliment, even though he wants to: he has other fish to save...

The main super hero plot point to overcome is Norman Osborn AKA Green Goblin (William Defoe). Go cats go!

December 13 , 2002.