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Mars Attacks
Studio executives summary / pitch
In-jokey, big budget, 'what if aliens came to earth and weren't friendly' movie.
Short plot summary

Mars attacks.

What our panel of critics thought

"So that's what Pierce Brosnan looks like if his head was detached from his body."

"Sarah Jessica, babe, thank goodness they didn't make you cock your leg my dear!"

"I know you paid me good money to give my comments on this movie but I got so fed up I fast forwarded through to the end. The movie is colorful and the special effects look good at 3 times normal speed."

"Yaa, yaa, yaa, ya yaaa."

"Protruding eyed, pant wearing aliens. My, you look expensive my dears."

"Is this a fetish movie? A woman's body with a dog's head? Call the authorities, or the kennels, at once!"

"Tom Jones, my dear, I hope they paid you well... Was this movie released about the time 'It's not unusual' reentered the charts again by any chance?"

Please tell me the ending.

Plucky, previously loser type earth characters, kick Martian butts to save planet.

Stars Jack Nicholson as the President, Glenn Close as his wife. Pierce Brosnan, Sarah Jessica Parker and Michael J Fox.

What snack should I eat while watching this movie?

Sheep eyes and sheep brains on unfrozen, floppy, sliced bread.

If I were to watch this at home how best should I sit?

In the let's have a chat rather than watch this movie position.

How funny is this film?

A very expensive movie, but not really that funny; more wry than belly laughing (although we did watch this on fast forward).

Would your cat enjoy this movie? Would your dog like it? Other pets?

Cats might possibly like this movie if they enjoy watching humans blasted into skeletons in bright orangy flame.

Dogs could get upset and wimper annoyingly.

Goldfish could assume a superior air

What can I take from this movie to make me a better person?

Some movies are better to star in / work on that watch. This is one of them.

Other comments

An amazingly awful movie, but then again it is pretty much what you might expect. Superb special effects, an unbelievably A-list cast, but we never care much about any of the characters. Could do better. Run for the hills.

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