Jean-Claude Van Damme plays Kurt Sloane, brother to Eric (Dennis Alexio) who is beaten to disability by bad boy boxer Tong Po. It's a tale of suffering against all the odds to win punch drunk revenge by the end credits.

"I feel sure there is a joke with Tong Po as the punch line but it escapes me at the moment."

"I have never seen so many sucker punches in all of my life, has he heard of blocking? At this rate he is going to lose his pretty boy looks. Thank goodness all of the punches clearly stop about half an inch before hitting him."

"An entertaining unlikelyfest for those times when you are drunk to incapacity. Few of the moves would work in real life but they must have had fun making the picture. I wonder how many knuckleheads have broken their feet kicking someone's head in like that."

"I have always wanted to tear in half one of those heavy looking championship boxing belts, luckily, in this film, it looks like they are made out of cardboard. A triumph of tear-tertainment!"

"The moral of the tale is: never trust a referee in a pink shirt!"

"Tong Po is the Mike Tyson (early invincible version) of KickBoxers, but with a pig tail. Surely anyone could grab hold of his girly hair and swing him over their shoulders? Nobody thinks of this, of course - have I attained a higher level of spiritual enlightenment? or have I been playing StreetFighter too long on my Playstation? Oh, bring it on anyway!"

"I liked the bit when the trainer dropped that wooden ball from the top of that tree onto Claude's stomach to prove his stomach muscles had hardened. Lucky hit there, a few inches lower and his balls would have been squashed (although based on the rest of this super-cruel movie I am sure they considered that as an option)."

Bad boy Tong Po is beaten-up by our hero in spite of him bending the kick boxing rules one last time by attempting to spear our hero with a burning javelin.

They presumably all live happily ever after as there are two sequels. Jean-Claude does not grace them with his presence, however.

High protein shakes, high protein biscuits or high protein cream cakes.

• On your back - legs strapped in to complex pulley system for leg extension
• On your back - in the position of waiting for the heavy ball to drop on your hard stomach muscles from a tall tree
• The position of 'about to be punched in the head with a boxing glove on a pole'
• In the Tai Chi position of 'the flappy armed tiger'.

A small amount of shirt off-lip smacking in the half light. Our Claude, however, is far too busy working up a sweat.

Yes, but avoid anyone with boxing gloves on a pole, especially when on the rowing machine.

Try not to kick anyone in the head like that as you will break your foot.

Our hero shouts this to bad boy boxer Tong Po after his initial bout. F-word lovers are also well catered for. This is an 18 rated movie.