Studio executives
summary / pitch
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| The
kids will just love this one. Nicely brought up boys being crude boys on the big
screen. Beasty Boys eat our shorts. Cult hit of the decade. |
Short plot
summary |
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The TV series
Jackass makes it to the big screen in a collection of stunts, poop and vomit which
will entertain, even shock, its intended audience.
Stars: Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Ryan Dunn, Jason
Acuña, Preston Lacy, Dave England, Ehren McGhehey, Brandon Dicamillo, April
Margera, Phil Margera.
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What our
panel of critics thought |
"Chris Pontius
is such a sexy guy, he can lap dance for me anytime. I have a ten minute window
when I go to work on the bus in the morning if you are ever interested babe.""I
will never be able to look a sea cucumber in the eye again.""The
Magera's deserve their own TV/film series, I presume one is on the way. Amazing.""Wee
Man doing the karate chop with his head on those bricks is the funniest thing
I have seen this month.""Steve-O
pole-vaults like no other on the big screen.""I
doubt that I will be able to push a shopping trolley in my supermarket again without
jumping into it and crashing into the baked beans stand. Bravisimo! More! Encore!""At
last, all the sports locker room joking around without any of the need to whip
out your own willy! A triumph!""Boy
stuff on the big screen!""What
I like about this movie is that it cuts out the middleman... Before this movie,
stunt men would jump in when it got dangerous, not here." |
Please
tell me the ending or whole plot if necessary
|
| The
movie is a collection of stunts just like the tv series. The ending seems to have
failed - they were attempting a serial stuntfest where all the guys did something
dangerous which led on to another dangerous stunt etc (ever played the board game
Mousetrap ? - just like that). |
Quotable quotes (real) |
Chris
Pontius: "When the bear is hungry he feeds." |
What snack
should I eat/drink while watching this movie? |
Sushi
eaten nasally (ensure a sick bag is on hand at all times) |
If I were
to watch this at home how best should I sit? |
In
the gooch in the air position of ball-freedom (ensure black socks are worn throughout) In
the shrimp-filled underpants position of waiting for a fish to attack In
the waiting-for-fireworks-to-finish-going-off-in-your bedroom position of tension In
the motorized toy car stuck up your ass with your best friend holding the remote
control position of pleasure/pain (note: ensure new batteries for best results) In
the use your ass as a launch for a firework rocket position of underpants
around the knees
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Is there
enough licky love in this film? |
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None, although
Chris Pontius hints he has just had 'the pleasure' (or is about to have 'his way
with') with Steve-O. |
How dangerous
is this movie? Does it add anything to the action movie paradigm? |
This
is a stunt man movie with the stunt men as the stars not playing second fiddle
to the established stars. Presumably
the stunts were all done by our stars, including a moment of golf cart madness
when Jackass big cheese Johnny Knoxville is knocked out cold when a golf cart
crashes on top of him. Butter Bean also knocks him out in a department store. Senseless
brutality throughout. |
Would your
pets enjoy this movie? Would your dog like it? Other pets? |
This
is a dog movie. Johnny Knoxville is a doggie fave, as is Chris Pontius. Chris
Pontius was once voted 'Human whose genitalia I would most like to stick my nose
in', moving Bruce Willis to second place. Cats
enjoy watching humans fall clumsily to the ground. In cat opinion, humans have
never mastered how to fall to the ground properly. Expect forced coughs and whining
throughout. They may grudgingly be impressed by Steve-O and the pole-vault. Alligators,
Sea Cucumbers, Crocodiles, Cheetahs, Giraffes will all enjoy seeing themselves
on the big screen. Ensure they are all securely caged at all times. |
Could
you watch this movie down the gym?
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| A
superb movie to watch down the gym, or even the junk yard, golf course or boxing
ring. |
What
can I take from this movie to make me a better person? |
| NEVER
PICK A FIGHT WITH A GUY CALLED BUTTER BEAN. A
movie made for boys of all ages, especially good for the under 25's. Sort of like
a modern Animal House but without the 'plot'. Has not sold out to the big screen.
Looking forward to the sequel. |
Would this
movie win awards for performances of the f word? |
| This
is a street smart f word, penis, vomit fest. It deserves a gross-out award. We
have never seen anything like this on the big screen before. |
Other comments
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If you have
ever seen the TV series you know what to expect. You will either love it or loath
it. It is funny, hilarious in places, but some of the vomiting bits may
stop you chomping on your popcorn. There is also a moment of in-trouser poopiness
which may make you feel sticky. The
movie attempts gross out and succeeds. One
of those 'Wish I had thought of this first' ideas. And then you think about it
for a minute, and the pain they must go through, and then you can feel pleased
you didn't think of it first but don't mind paying a couple of dollars to watch
the DVD. |
Date
of review |
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