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Jackass The Movie
Studio executives summary / pitch
The kids will just love this one. Nicely brought up boys being crude boys on the big screen. Beasty Boys eat our shorts. Cult hit of the decade.
Short plot summary

The TV series Jackass makes it to the big screen in a collection of stunts, poop and vomit which will entertain, even shock, its intended audience.

Stars: Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Ryan Dunn, Jason Acuña, Preston Lacy, Dave England, Ehren McGhehey, Brandon Dicamillo, April Margera, Phil Margera.

What our panel of critics thought

"Chris Pontius is such a sexy guy, he can lap dance for me anytime. I have a ten minute window when I go to work on the bus in the morning if you are ever interested babe."

"I will never be able to look a sea cucumber in the eye again."

"The Magera's deserve their own TV/film series, I presume one is on the way. Amazing."

"Wee Man doing the karate chop with his head on those bricks is the funniest thing I have seen this month."

"Steve-O pole-vaults like no other on the big screen."

"I doubt that I will be able to push a shopping trolley in my supermarket again without jumping into it and crashing into the baked beans stand. Bravisimo! More! Encore!"

"At last, all the sports locker room joking around without any of the need to whip out your own willy! A triumph!"

"Boy stuff on the big screen!"

"What I like about this movie is that it cuts out the middleman... Before this movie, stunt men would jump in when it got dangerous, not here."

Please tell me the ending or whole plot if necessary

The movie is a collection of stunts just like the tv series. The ending seems to have failed - they were attempting a serial stuntfest where all the guys did something dangerous which led on to another dangerous stunt etc (ever played the board game Mousetrap ? - just like that).

Quotable quotes (real)

Chris Pontius: "When the bear is hungry he feeds."

What snack should I eat/drink while watching this movie?

Sushi eaten nasally (ensure a sick bag is on hand at all times)

If I were to watch this at home how best should I sit?
  • In the gooch in the air position of ball-freedom (ensure black socks are worn throughout)
  • In the shrimp-filled underpants position of waiting for a fish to attack
  • In the waiting-for-fireworks-to-finish-going-off-in-your bedroom position of tension
  • In the motorized toy car stuck up your ass with your best friend holding the remote control position of pleasure/pain (note: ensure new batteries for best results)
  • In the use your ass as a launch for a firework rocket position of underpants around the knees
Is there enough licky love in this film?

None, although Chris Pontius hints he has just had 'the pleasure' (or is about to have 'his way with') with Steve-O.

How dangerous is this movie? Does it add anything to the action movie paradigm?

This is a stunt man movie with the stunt men as the stars not playing second fiddle to the established stars.

Presumably the stunts were all done by our stars, including a moment of golf cart madness when Jackass big cheese Johnny Knoxville is knocked out cold when a golf cart crashes on top of him. Butter Bean also knocks him out in a department store.

Senseless brutality throughout.

Would your pets enjoy this movie? Would your dog like it? Other pets?

This is a dog movie. Johnny Knoxville is a doggie fave, as is Chris Pontius. Chris Pontius was once voted 'Human whose genitalia I would most like to stick my nose in', moving Bruce Willis to second place.

Cats enjoy watching humans fall clumsily to the ground. In cat opinion, humans have never mastered how to fall to the ground properly. Expect forced coughs and whining throughout. They may grudgingly be impressed by Steve-O and the pole-vault.

Alligators, Sea Cucumbers, Crocodiles, Cheetahs, Giraffes will all enjoy seeing themselves on the big screen. Ensure they are all securely caged at all times.

Could you watch this movie down the gym?

A superb movie to watch down the gym, or even the junk yard, golf course or boxing ring.

What can I take from this movie to make me a better person?

NEVER PICK A FIGHT WITH A GUY CALLED BUTTER BEAN.

A movie made for boys of all ages, especially good for the under 25's. Sort of like a modern Animal House but without the 'plot'. Has not sold out to the big screen. Looking forward to the sequel.

Would this movie win awards for performances of the f word?

This is a street smart f word, penis, vomit fest. It deserves a gross-out award. We have never seen anything like this on the big screen before.

Other comments

If you have ever seen the TV series you know what to expect. You will either love it or loath it. It is funny, hilarious in places, but some of the vomiting bits may stop you chomping on your popcorn. There is also a moment of in-trouser poopiness which may make you feel sticky.

The movie attempts gross out and succeeds.

One of those 'Wish I had thought of this first' ideas. And then you think about it for a minute, and the pain they must go through, and then you can feel pleased you didn't think of it first but don't mind paying a couple of dollars to watch the DVD.

Date of review

October 27, 2003

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