Studio executives summary / pitch
|
| Special
effects corn-fest as world is invaded by octopus-like aliens who want to kill
everyone. |
Short plot
summary |
|
The world is
saved from murderous aliens by five main characters, including the US president
who flies one of the attack planes. |
What our
panel of critics thought |
"How much
did they spend on this movie? God damned in hell fire. Please excuse me I just
popped!""All
I'm saying is if the aliens turn up now with George W Bush as president I hope
George can fight them off with an oil contract or something. And if this don't
give Cheney THE heart attack nothing will. Damn.""The
special effects blew my skirt up, or maybe I was standing too close to that under
pavement air stream again?""A
movie which is actually improved by watching with adverts in it.""A
movie to watch when you are doing something else.""This
movie makes no sense whatsoever, but the characters all look young and healthy
and it directions its spunk in all the right places.""May
I just complement all the white boys in this movie for their wonderfully sexy
tans?""So,
all that money on special effects, and it still all comes down to a single crop
spraying guy who spends most of his time getting drunk?" |
Please
tell me the ending or whole plot if necessary
|
| Big
flying saucers appear throughout the world, they want to kill us all. Tanned,
fit looking scientist (Jeff Goldblum) discovers a way of penetrating alien space
ship defenses (a computer virus) so mankind can blow them away. Will Smith plays
a US airforce pilot. All
aliens seen off after inflicting terrible damage to world's landmark buildings
in show stopping CGI horror-fest. The Empire State Building gets it, along with
the White House. Crop
spraying dude flies ship into alien craft to blow it up. After this, other alien
ships give up and go home all on 4th July, the all new Independence Day, thereafter
giving the English a break for the first time in over 200 years. |
Quotable quotes (real) |
|
"Oh
God I hope they bring back Elvis." Smith
punches alien - "Welcome to Earth" pause "That's what I call a
close encounter." "You
punched the president?" |
What snack
should I eat while watching this movie? |
Anything with
more than 50% saturated fat, cigarettes and hard liquor. |
If I were
to watch this at home how best should I sit? |
In
the position of waiting to select additional special features on your remote. |
Could
this movie be improved with more acting? |
|
Yes.
There are no all time great moments of acting excellence in this movie; any good
performances would probably look out of place in any case. |
Is there enough licky love in this film? |
|
Brief
upper body male nudity and whole arm female nudity. No kissing whatsoever other
than welcome home from battle baby kissing which doesn't count. |
Would your
pets enjoy this movie? Would your dog like it? Other pets? |
| This
is a dog movie. Dogs will pull their sleeping basket over to the television when
this movie is on, then will carefully bring over their water bowl, improbably
balanced on their nose without spilling a drop; they will then sit slurping from
the water bowl throughout the whole movie chuckling occasionally in a deep Scooby
Doo voice. Cats
will climb onto furniture and playfully somersault backwards throughout the movie,
as they question the plausibility of the plot and try to drop into the dog's newly
positioned water bowl. Pet
ducks will resent this movie and could become visibly distressed at times: Make
sure to put them outside or they are liable to toilet violently on your carpet
during the loud explosion scenes. |
Could you
make out while watching this movie? Please recommend fetish attire. |
This
is a make out movie dream. We recommend either wearing the Will Smith modeled
- vest/military gear (without the boots), or the crop sprayers' be-goggled helmet,
the choice is yours. |
How much would you pay for a copy of this movie in goods? |
| A
small piece of genuine alien butt leather. |
Does the film attempt technobabble? If so, does this succeed? |
| Yes.
The whole purpose of the Jeff Goldblum character seems to be to confuse by technological
explanation. In the movie, his character makes drawings of circles and lines on
paper to explain the intricate concepts being discussed. Watch out for the quickly
drawn diagram for the president, showing how the UFO's are talking to each other
via the world's satellite systems. |
Other comments
|
| A
great movie to have on when you are writing a letter to someone or when you are
on the internet. The
whole movie is a load of puff, although the special effects are memorable and
were really the whole point of the movie in the first place. In
1996, when this movie came out, we could not image the White House blowing up
like that. Things have changed considerably since then. This
movie remains a movie high up in popular recollection that you need to see just
in case the movie comes up in any discussions with street based traders. |
Date
of review |
February
27, 2002 |