Studio executives summary / pitch
|
| Hey,
how about this idea: cute chick fighting Vampires - how much naked teenage flesh
can we get out of that...? |
Short plot
summary |
|
Buffy
Summers (Kristy Swanson) is a cheerleader who discovers, via Merrick Jamison-Smythe
(Donald Sutherland), that she is really a vampire slayer. Totally, like, just
don't go there pleeease, relationship with like totally gross Oliver Pike (Luke
Perry), who helps her out in moments of three vampires on one mayhem. |
What our
panel of critics thought |
"I lost the
point to live during this movie. Either the movie is totally crap, or I am a vampire
and it has effectively destroyed my will to live.""Porky's
without the dick jokes.""A
six series television series out of this? Well it's set in a high school and Porky's
was probably too rude.""There's
cheerleaders and neck biting, and chest stabbing and what more could a teenager
ask for in a movie? Yep, all my boxes were ticked too. Why didn't it work then,
should we get a story next time?""Not
a plot, more of a 90 minute situation. What any girl would do if she found out
she was the only hope against Vampires whilst still at High School.""Luke
Perry you are such a good looking boy, may I lick you?" "I
have never snored in a movie like I snored in this one. An absolute triumph. " |
Please
tell me the ending or whole plot if necessary |
| She
kills a load of Vampires. Rutger Hauer also stars. |
If I
were to watch this at home how best should I sit? |
| Get
friends round for a 'mock this movie to shreds' sesh. Offer wine, nibbles and,
maybe, some cheerleaders and some high school basketball players for some innocent
naughtiness involving lots of alcohol. |
How funny
is this film? |
|
A light hearted
romp in the vampirean wilderness. A few moments of mirth (news reader saying Hickey
is always great for the teens....) |
Would your
pets enjoy this movie? Would your dog like it? Other pets? |
| Dogs
love the canines in humans angle, and may try to become a vampire if not slapped
decisively to a whimper the first time teeth are bared. Cats
may prefer to burrow for small rodents. Small
rodents may get the cat to chase them rather than watch this movie. |
How much
would you pay for a copy of this movie in goods? |
| A
blown kiss to the checkout girl. |
Other comments
|
| A
disappointedly nothing movie which amazingly spawned at least 6 series of the
television show (and then Angel!). Totally
average effort all round, clearly trying to capture the youth market with the
most likely stars of the day to attract them. Didn't work though... |
Date of
review |
| August
3, 2003 |