Studio executives summary / pitch
|
| Blood
sucking underworld vampire fest.
|
Short plot
summary |
|
Wesley Snipes
plays a vampire who controls his urges by garlic injection. He polices the vampire
world, killing the baddies (including, eventually, upwardly mobile new baddy played
by Stephen Dorff). |
What our
panel of critics thought |
"A triumph
of vampire killing vampire. I hope humankind is worth it, bitch!""Why
does he do it?""Thank
goodness that nice Mr Kristofferson does not burst into his sweet song. It wouldn't
have been clever, and would have ruined a perfectly good horrorfest, young man.""Unfortunately,
I have a needle aversion. I immediately go into a coma when I see one being put
into a person. So I lasted about 15 minutes into this movie. How did it end?""Could
do with a couple of fart jokes, although the fat bitch did try hard.""Wesley,
smile dear boy, smile! Life is pretty and sweet, dear boy! And if the wind changes
your face will be stuck like that!""But
I love garlic. I simply can't abide a movie that hates this herb so!""An
anti-garlic travesty of a movie." |
Please
tell me the ending or whole plot if necessary |
| Blade
saves the world from the evil vampires. |
If I
were to watch this at home how best should I sit? |
| Don't
let anyone touch your neck with their teeth during this movie - that would be
bad. |
How funny
is this film? |
|
Very few laughs,
unless you find vampires funny. Laughing
derangely at this movie in the line of sight of a stalker will protect you from
attack. |
Would your
pets enjoy this movie? Would your dog like it? Other pets? |
| This
is a cat movie, although dogs look better in the vampire cape, and most have the
teeth for it. Bats
will patiently watch this movie upside down. |
How much
would you pay for a copy of this movie in goods. |
| A
box of blood flavored chewing gum. |
Other comments
|
| A
popular vampire action movie, but with little warmth. We
found it hard to like the main character, although we accept he was a goodie. |
Date of
review |
| April
30, 2002 |