Studio executives summary / pitch
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| So,
this is what they based Police Squad on...
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Short plot
summary |
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A gang of hoodlums
are out to make trouble. They kill a little girl who has just bought an ice cream
(she's returning it as the ice cream seller gave her the wrong kind of vanilla
something) they also kill the ice cream seller. The
Dad of the little girl is told of a gun in the front of the ice cream van with
a dying-nod from the ice cream seller, he takes it and chases after the only car
driving down the road at the time. Eventually it becomes dark, he luckily kills
the guy who killed his daughter then unluckily runs into a deserted police station
to report the incident. The
gang of hoodlums surround the police station which is in the process of being
shut down. Only a black cop, a couple of women and some prisoners with their guards
(moved to the station on the day) are there. The gang pick off characters inside
the station by shooting with silencers a number of windows and make attempts to
storm it. |
Stars |
| Austin
Stoker, Darwin Joston and Laurie Zimmer. |
What
our panel of critics thought
(Continued)
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"This
movie is a gift for parody writers...""I
saw this movie when I was much younger and liked it. Unfortunately I have since
seen Police Squad, and on re-watching this film, I was expecting to see Frank
Drebbin at any moment; but in the end there is no gray haired person whatsoever.
A disappointment.""Made
in 1976, today it would never have been made. My main problems were:
The
whole place is deserted The
ice cream maker nods to the Dad that there is a gun in the front of the van then
he dies The
Dad chases the first (and only) car he sees (he does not see who killed his daughter,
he just assumes) In
the police station, after the sniping has stopped for about 3 minutes, the black
cop goes straight to the window to look outside (he clearly could have been shot)
When
deciding who is to make a break for the outside to get help, one of the prisoners
says I don't like flipping a coin, so they play stone and paper with a playground
song (did Police Squad ever do patty cake? - very similar)
There
is a moment where a man and woman are looking at each other: he says he wants
a cigarette and without looking down she gives him a cigarette, then tries to
light it and she has a lighter. You almost expect him to say donut and she would
have had one too - this HAS been done on Police Squad we are sure..."
"Is
this movie supposed to be funny?""1976
trash for people who don't like cowboys.""A
cowboy type movie without the hats but peppered with a special dumbness.""The
music at the start reminded me of the bit in Blazing Saddles where Louis Armstrong
and his Orchestra go by in a bus... That deep thumping music, you really do expect
some guy with a ghetto blaster to come by at any moment, or a car with a loud
stereo to drive by..." |
Please
tell me the ending or plot details if necessary |
| Eventually
backup arrives and they enter the police station to rescue what's left of our
bloodied heroes. |
What
snack should I eat while watching this movie? |
| Super
crunchy chips, or anything to drown out the dialog. |
If
I were to watch this at home how best should I sit? |
| In
the emergency landing position (see the movie Airplane); alternatively try the
sitting position of a passenger with Frank Drebbin driving. |
Is there enough licky love in this film? |
|
No.
The closest we come to this is a moment of lighting cigarette madness. |
How funny is this film? |
It
basically plays as a comedy today, sure this wasn't intended. Count the number
of jokes Police Squad have used based on this movie... Basically
never surpasses road crash horror. |
Would
your cat enjoy this movie? Would your dog like it? Other pets? |
Dogs
could attempt to fortify their kennels using food cans and sticks from the beach. Cats
will get their kitty-chums round to circle and destroy the dog's kennel. Water
rodents, including Beaver, will chuckle heartily at the dryness of the setting,
much preferring Waterworld (you don't often hear that). |
What
can I take from this movie to make me a better person? |
| Never
believe any paper that gives this movie 4 stars out of 5. |
How
much would you pay for a copy of this movie in goods. |
| A
set of caps from a broken toy gun from the 1970's. |
Does the
film attempt technobabble? If so, does this succeed? |
| We
would love to hear the director's (John Carpenter) justification for the plot
points in this movie. |
Other comments
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A
terribly dated movie. Unsophisticated compared to equivalent movies today (you
don't often hear that). A
must see for Police Squad fans and Mel Brooks fans too. Parody is just so easy
with movies like this... We want our money back. |
Date
of review |
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