Our hero's brother is burned into a slowly breathing scab. Jean-Claude van Damme goes to save his brother, find his family and make sure they are all right by providing money and cuddly toys, in between punching people for profit.

"A high kicking punch fest of eye-blackening proportions."

"I can't wait until Jean-Claude is 80 years of age. Keep up the kicking, my dear, it comes in useful at the Post Office..."

"Mr van Damme seems to take himself ever so seriously, and why not? A fantastic body, a back-kick never bettered and pecs so hard if you were to accidentally run into him head first you would be instantly concussed. A wonder!"

"I find it very difficult to understand our favorite Belgian citizen, for sometimes he talks as if his mouth is filled with snails or other small garlicky mollusks, however when he kick-boxes it is pure poetry. A Round House Wunderbarr!"

"Now, that fight in the swimming pool, with the long-haired guy, this needs some analysis. What is this trying to say?"

"In his day, nobody kicked higher."

"Nobody ever called him a Jesse (or if they started they never managed to finish the word) without expecting a swift punch to the mush. A Jesse calling, mush punching triumph!"

There's nobody left to beat up.

His brother dies. Our hero, Lyon, wins all of his fights, but then the Legion find him and attempt to take him back. He gets in the car, but comes a-running back to end with wholesome family-type hug.

Any fat free meat from an animal that can kick a high punch in crispy wholesome bread.

A competitive ballet version.

In the classic Kung Fu position of the fed-up-but-hungry tiger.

Yes. The Teen Sumos, with stomach staples.

This piece of shit burned my brother - it's not right - it ain't fair... I'm pulling your nose off with my hands, whilst wearing Lycra, or its the last thing I do...

Whilst there is plenty of the fist fighting malarkey, there is room for more orangey balls of flame (although the moment of in-boiler room coal shoveling does make up for this to a certain extent).

Some in-bed togetherness but never much chance that the Homo-erotica will be compromised.

This is a boy film - girls without cocks be gone!

Yes. If you have spent twenty years tweaking your fist fighting moves to perfection, what's the point of letting it lie if someone gets in your face? Go cat!

Jean-Claude van Damme is another one of those big screen heroes that dogs instinctively love, however cats dislike him as his pecs are so hard that, were he to cuddle them, they could get a nasty bruise.

In any case, cats believe that any man with those muscles is clearly not someone who would remember to feed them. Dogs agree, but know they always have a box of doggie choco drops on hand for when the canned food has run out, which makes up for a lot in life.

Hedgehogs and medium sized marsupials could attempt to lick their own feet during this movie. Ensure they have a saucer of water on hand and a small flannel.

Yes. This movie has won an award for the f-word in a Belgian accent.

This is a technobable free production.

Beware: Many of the boxer-punch positions do not work in real life, but at least they do not painfully tell us this in what is an otherwise pleasantly mindless movie.

Has all of the ingredients and qualities of a hard on porn movie, but without the hard on porn.

Don't try to watch this movie using any normal 'watching a film technique', put it on the TV with the sound down and have a conversation. If viewed this way it is really quite fine.

The movie rarely surpasses pleasantly Homo-erotic. A basic plot designed to set up different fights in varying degrees of shirt-offedness.

June 11 , 2002