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300
Short plot summary

Man gets addicted to sit-ups, becomes King, keeps doing sit-ups. Makes all of his warriors do sit-ups 5 hours a day minimum, and then 5 hours on the pec deck. Feels that to cover up his manly chest would be a waste so goes around wearing a cape with his muscular frame constantly on show. Kills thousands.

What our panel of critics thought

"Beautifully lit homoerotica."

"Apparently, at that time in history, the Spartans were naked for much of the time. They fought naked. Walked about naked. I've seen the statues, why would they lie? Knowing that, how on earth did they beat to death people wearing armor?"

"Adequately lit homoerotica."

"Is Frank Miller anything to do with the beer company?"

"Today, aren't the Greeks a hairy people? So, in those times they weren't or did they wax their chests? I can't remember seeing a single guy with body hair. I wasn't looking that closely, just I find it strange that there was not a single one."

"Did I notice a guy with an 8-pack in this movie?"

"Superb! Even the women have six packs!"

"Superb special effects: did they CGI those six packs in or did they actually have to train up for the role?"

"Poorly lit homoerotica, I want my money back."

"Strangely unerotic homoerotica."

"If you are wondering what the difference between manliness and homoerotica is then this movie has the answer, without any of the usual grunting and fart smells that sentence normally implies."

"Did you know that a good laugh is as good as a sit up?"

"It's just as well they weren't naked. I could foresee multiple Porky's shower room scene type incidents. Never grab a man's penis in anger is my motto, and I have seen nothing in this movie to make me change my mind."

Please tell me the ending or whole plot if necessary

Leonidas and his men all die in battle, the story is told in the words of one of his soldiers who was sent home because he was wounded.

Other comments

The promotional hook for this movie was the fact that all the men had strapping physiques / 6-packs.

It is quite remarkable technically. The picture is superbly and painstakingly comic book like. However, would you want to go down the pub to have a drink with anyone in this movie?

Review date: 24th October 2007

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