UN, New York - UK delegate killed by high pitched noise in his translation ear piece.

Cuts to New Orleans, Olympia Brass Band - funeral dirge. Man in hat asks "Whose funeral is it?" Answer: "Yours" - he is then knifed in the side. Then the dirge turns into happy gay pride type march without the overt homosexuality.

Cuts to San Monique - man being tortured by Black Magic snake.

In this one, Bond foils baddies, stupid sheriff's in motor boat chases, and crocodiles in since much parodied running over them like stepping stones to safety stunt.

Bond goes to investigate the murder of a US agent in New Orleans and comes across a sophisticated setup which includes tables in pubs which swivel round and go into the ground to secret rooms.

"Had he not sat in that seat which swiveled around to introduce him to the lovely tarot reader in the first place, the whole movie might have been three hours longer. A plot point joy."

"Mr Bond, you must pack a mighty wallop with that kick of yours, it didn't look as if it landed to me but the baddy flew into the air with such gusto. Bravisimo!"

"From the bare chest point of view, not the best of Bond's, however: the stunts look expensive and there is a humor throughout the production including our favorite sexy jokes which only Roger Moore's eyebrows could handle."

"There is a moment of hang-gliding madness in which it is clear that Mr Moore is simply standing on something with a hang-gliding wings over his shoulders. However, the stunt man who eventually kicks the baddy over the cliff looked pretty good."

"Once the Saint, now Mr Bond, is there no end to this man's acting ability?"

"All that action and never a bad hair day! Mr Moore did you ever advertise hair holding lotion?"

"It was that time in movie history when you had to trash police cars all the while in blazing sunshine. I remember it well. Thankfully, the Dukes of Hazzard eventually killed the whole idea off, but not before lots of innocent looking young frisky-type people cavorted about in skimpy shorts. Pervisimo!"

"A difficult subject handled with a Sunday morning ease."

"A difficult movie to dislike as its boat chase-ending is so spectacular, however I almost gave up during the New York bar moments which seemed slightly mightily improbable."

"For one goddamned moment I thought I had my movies mixed up. That baddy can do a damn good Marcel Wallace (Pulp Fiction) impersonation, but this time with hair! Shit man. Thank goodness he pulled that disguise off."

The guy with the metal hand fails to kill our hero... Bond last seen getting on a train with the tarot reading woman (Jane Seymour).

"I'd rather not go off halfcocked."

Magnetic watch that can saw. Bad guy with metal hand.

Crocodile fingers in bread crumbs.

In the classic sado masochistic arms locked to the side of the chair position.

Yes, Top Cat in the deep south.

What is the link between contortionists and black/voodoo magic*? Is there a link at all? We are not so sure; however, it is always refreshing to see someone walk like a spider across the screen like that with his legs over his shoulders. A triumph!

(*If there is a link then we really would be interested in learning how to do a spell on someone to make them walk like that. Mail: editor@thevoiceofreason.com)

This is the first of the Roger Moore tongue-in-cheek - cheeky Bond's. None of the stunt close-ups ever looked realistic and this one is no different...

... watch for the hang-gliding moment, it is clear Moore is standing firmly on the ground and the background is put in for effect.

The running over the crocodiles moment is funny, though, and the boat chases exciting.

Dog's would love to have a watch like that, but will settle for twirling the cat in the air in a circus tumbling kind of way.

Cats have an unnaturally cocky attitude to crocodiles as they are confident that they will never be forced to confront one in real life. For fun, get a life-size picture of a crocodile and a cat. Arrange the picture so that it looks like the crocodile is crunching the cat in its jaws. Laugh outrageously, then arrange kitty counseling.

Pet crocodiles will enjoy this movie as it is one of the few comedy crocodile moments ever attempted. Pet snakes, too, will find the movie satisfying, however if you like to shave with your pet snake in the same room, hide their eyes during the moment of aerosol flame throwing madness, which improbably kills the snake and doesn't set fire to the entire hotel.

Maybe it's us, but we thought the movie had a strange, jokey, Deliverance quality to it, so you might like to oil up like a farm animal to enjoy fully.

A tire with a rope hanging from a tree from the local gorilla enclosure.

No. Although this word is mouthed by the sheriff in the version we saw (again, was this altered for TV?) it was cut out by means of traffic noise.

Q only has a small part to play in this movie. Bond seems to work his magic with any speed boat or bus he steals.

The older we get the more we are realizing that the gadgets are simply ways of getting out of script induced impossibilities... You can just imagine the script writers meeting: everyone looking at each other ... how can we get him out of being tied up and lowered into a shark infested underground cavern? - "I know, make the watch into a saw!" "Perfect, that's good enough for them, meeting over!"

The speed boat, road chases and physical side of Bond is very entertaining. An enjoyable romp if not a little silly in places.

June 28 , 2002