Studio executives summary / pitch
|
| Tarot
card reading voodoo fest, mixed up with Starsky and Hutch and Smoky and the Bandit,
in Roger Moore's first outing as the British secret agent.
|
Opening Sequence |
|
UN,
New York - UK delegate killed by high pitched noise in his translation ear piece.
Cuts
to New Orleans, Olympia Brass Band - funeral dirge. Man in hat asks "Whose
funeral is it?" Answer: "Yours" - he is then knifed in the side.
Then the dirge turns into happy gay pride type march without the overt homosexuality. Cuts
to San Monique - man being tortured by Black Magic snake. |
Short plot
summary |
|
In this one,
Bond foils baddies, stupid sheriff's in motor boat chases, and crocodiles in since
much parodied running over them like stepping stones to safety stunt. Bond
goes to investigate the murder of a US agent in New Orleans and comes across a
sophisticated setup which includes tables in pubs which swivel round and go into
the ground to secret rooms. |
What
our panel of critics thought
|
"Had
he not sat in that seat which swiveled around to introduce him to the lovely tarot
reader in the first place, the whole movie might have been three hours longer.
A plot point joy.""Mr
Bond, you must pack a mighty wallop with that kick of yours, it didn't look as
if it landed to me but the baddy flew into the air with such gusto. Bravisimo!""From
the bare chest point of view, not the best of Bond's, however: the stunts look
expensive and there is a humor throughout the production including our favorite
sexy jokes which only Roger Moore's eyebrows could handle.""There
is a moment of hang-gliding madness in which it is clear that Mr Moore is simply
standing on something with a hang-gliding wings over his shoulders. However, the
stunt man who eventually kicks the baddy over the cliff looked pretty good.""Once
the Saint, now Mr Bond, is there no end to this man's acting ability?""All
that action and never a bad hair day! Mr Moore did you ever advertise hair holding
lotion?""It
was that time in movie history when you had to trash police cars all the while
in blazing sunshine. I remember it well. Thankfully, the Dukes of Hazzard eventually
killed the whole idea off, but not before lots of innocent looking young frisky-type
people cavorted about in skimpy shorts. Pervisimo!""A
difficult subject handled with a Sunday morning ease.""A
difficult movie to dislike as its boat chase-ending is so spectacular, however
I almost gave up during the New York bar moments which seemed slightly mightily
improbable.""For
one goddamned moment I thought I had my movies mixed up. That baddy can do a damn
good Marcel Wallace (Pulp
Fiction) impersonation, but this time with hair! Shit man. Thank goodness
he pulled that disguise off." |
Please
tell me the ending.
|
The
guy with the metal hand fails to kill our hero... Bond last seen getting on a
train with the tarot reading woman (Jane Seymour). |
Quotable
quotes (real) |
"I'd
rather not go off halfcocked." |
Gadget |
Magnetic
watch that can saw. Bad
guy with metal hand. |
What
snack should I eat while watching this movie? |
Crocodile
fingers in bread crumbs. |
If I were to watch this at home how best should I sit? |
In
the classic sado masochistic arms locked to the side of the chair position. |
Could
this be made into a children's cartoon show? |
Yes,
Top Cat in the deep south. |
Could
this movie be improved with more voodoo? |
|
What
is the link between contortionists and black/voodoo magic*? Is there a link at
all? We are not so sure; however, it is always refreshing to see someone walk
like a spider across the screen like that with his legs over his shoulders. A
triumph! (*If
there is a link then we really would be interested in learning how to do a spell
on someone to make them walk like that. Mail:
editor@thevoiceofreason.com) |
How
funny is this film?
|
| This
is the first of the Roger Moore tongue-in-cheek - cheeky Bond's. None of the stunt
close-ups ever looked realistic and this one is no different... ...
watch for the hang-gliding moment, it is clear Moore is standing firmly on the
ground and the background is put in for effect. The
running over the crocodiles moment is funny, though, and the boat chases exciting. |
Would
your cat enjoy this movie? Would your dog like it? Other pets? |
| Dog's
would love to have a watch like that, but will settle for twirling the cat in
the air in a circus tumbling kind of way. Cats
have an unnaturally cocky attitude to crocodiles as they are confident that they
will never be forced to confront one in real life. For fun, get a life-size picture
of a crocodile and a cat. Arrange the picture so that it looks like the crocodile
is crunching the cat in its jaws. Laugh outrageously, then arrange kitty counseling. Pet
crocodiles will enjoy this movie as it is one of the few comedy crocodile moments
ever attempted. Pet snakes, too, will find the movie satisfying, however if you
like to shave with your pet snake in the same room, hide their eyes during the
moment of aerosol flame throwing madness, which improbably kills the snake and
doesn't set fire to the entire hotel. |
Should
you 'behave' while watching this movie? |
|
Maybe
it's us, but we thought the movie had a strange, jokey, Deliverance quality to
it, so you might like to oil up like a farm animal to enjoy fully. |
How much would you pay for a copy of this movie in goods? |
| A
tire with a rope hanging from a tree from the local gorilla enclosure. |
Would
this movie win awards for performances of the f-word? |
| No.
Although this word is mouthed by the sheriff in the version we saw (again, was
this altered for TV?) it was cut out by means of traffic noise. |
Does
the film attempt technobabble? If so, does this succeed? |
| Q
only has a small part to play in this movie. Bond seems to work his magic with
any speed boat or bus he steals. The
older we get the more we are realizing that the gadgets are simply ways of getting
out of script induced impossibilities... You can just imagine the script writers
meeting: everyone looking at each other ... how can we get him out of being tied
up and lowered into a shark infested underground cavern? - "I know, make
the watch into a saw!" "Perfect, that's good enough for them, meeting
over!" |
Other
comments |
|
The
speed boat, road chases and physical side of Bond is very entertaining. An enjoyable
romp if not a little silly in places. |
Date
of review |
|
June 28 , 2002 |