Short plot
summary |
|
Three bored
women (played by Cher, Susan Sarandon and Michelle Pfeiffer) call into existence
(by means of witchcraft) the Devil - Daryl Van Horne (played by Jack Nicholson)
- for their unwanton sexual gratification. It all ends badly. |
What our
panel of critics thought |
|
"I
believe that my penis is my antenna to God. When I speak with my old man
firm and hard He gets a better reception. This isn't actually relevant here, but
I just like telling people this." "They
never teach you how to defend yourself in an attack by feathers. Even Monty Python
didn't do that one, did they?" "I
preyed to the God of large penises once, but he must have been out at the time." "Oh,
snoring in a church recital, Mr Nicholson! You have surely lived to be able to
snore so convincingly." "This
movie is crap. It says to me, all women like men-bastards. That view is shit.
All women are lesbians who are at varying stages of realizing that. Anyone who
says anything else is deluded." "The
devil's man servant: wasn't that the ambassador in Men in Black 1? I want my money
back." "Get
this heterosexual shit off my screen at once! It's perverted." "Jack,
I know you are only acting, but wash your mouth out with industrial strength soap
and water all the same. You are only embarrassing yourself, young man." "Oh
I do love dancing in balloons, even though my first and second husbands died tragically
doing so. However, given enough alcohol I can suppress those pain soaked memories
to have a jolly good frolic. A triple whammy of joy!" "This
movie IS the devil - repent at length and with white lacy clothes on! How dare
the writers make such an upstanding, wholesome, Christian woman look so silly
from those devilish tricks? Scamper away you naughty devil, lest your naughtiness
turns like a Frankenstein type monster to crunch your testicles in slow motion.
(Behind you!)" |
Studio executives summary / pitch
|
| Power
of the devil come to my girly under bottom to let me free my juices! (or, Be careful
what you wish for as it might come true.) |
Please
tell me the ending or plot overview if necessary
|
| The
conjured up devil is their ideal man. However, whilst he makes them zing with
sexual fulfillment, he also causes the death of a local Christian do-gooder. Following
this death (by way of violent cherry vomit), the witches want nothing more to
do with Daryl and scheme to see him off.
He feels dejected by this attitude, and subjects the women to their worst fears.
So they scheme back, to destroy him by seducing him, and then summoning their
witchcraft to destroy him once and for all. (This they accomplish by sticking
pins in a voodoo doll, and the innovative use of feathers and fire.) Ending:
18 months on and the women have children, Daryl is last seen talking to his sons
via a television set. |
Justify
this movie's existence in the classic strand from
theVoiceofReason.com's Veritable Cornucopi |
|
Ola! This
movie made my Spanish blood warm remarkably! So much so that one was forced to
argue passionately lest nobody heard a word I muttered. All this after I asked
the Lord of Self Assertion to come hither (with His wisdom) so that one could
let go a gobful of angry, and yet, well formed, words, without spitting (a difficult
thing to do in Spanish!). The
idea behind this movie is such a wonderful gift from its writer, John Updike,
although as one has never read the original novel one cannot be sure of this movies'
honesty to its parent tome. The
first thing I noticed of this triumph of movie escapism, was what fine weather
they enjoyed, even when the feathers flew with such gusto! And yet, some nasty
rainy moments too helped us remember that the passions of our loins can change
too, like the weather. I
have always liked Cher: I saw the video in which she had all of her body hair
plucked, without anesthetic, 35 times. That was her best performance to date,
but this comes a creditable second. A joy! |
What
snack should I avoid eating while watching this movie?
|
| Passion
fruit and ground up rhino horns. |
Quotable
quotes (real) |
| [I'm
just an] "average horny little devil." |
If
I were to watch this on video/DVD how best should I sit? |
| In
the in hospital traction position. Left leg suspended above your head. |
If
a character from this film were to be invited onto Ricky Lake, what would the
title of the program be? |
| I'm
a horny little devil and I can have any woman I want. Slurp. |
Would
your cat like this movie? Would your dog like it? Other pets? |
| Black
cats will particularly enjoy this movie for obvious reasons. White cats may find
the plot a little too predictable. Dogs
will not like this movie as there are no sticks or trees of note. Exotic
fish will swim together in a pack to watch the movie in its entirety. |
How
much would you pay for a copy of this movie in goods. |
| Your
least favorite, coffee-stained, Cosmo. |
Would
this movie win awards for performances of the f-word? |
| Yes.
If you need to offend someone who is prissy or frigid then this is the movie for
you. |
Does
the film attempt technobabble? If so does this succeed? |
| No.
We are in a world of mystical mind games in the nether land, in a pre X-files
world in which strange things happen for magically mystical reasons. The God fearing
Christians come out of this movie pretty badly. |
Other
comments |
|
Make sure you
have set yourself enough time to watch this movie as we find the ending goes on
a bit longer than you might expect. There
has been criticism of the ending which some people find too violent. We have not
read the book so don't really have a view, although we suspect some of the left
over special effects from The Thing were used up in this production. |