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Troy
Short plot summary

Achilles (Brad Pitt) is a blonde Godlike warrior who is dismissive of the Greek King of Kings, Agamemnon (Brian Cox). Achilles fights for the Greeks nonetheless as head of a sort of rent-a-riot mob, but with their own riot shields.

Paris (Orlando Bloom) falls in love with Helen of Troy (Diane Kruger); he takes her back to Greece. This ruins a truce between Troy and Greece. The husband that Helen left is furious and he uses this as an excuse to persuade Agamemnon to start up the war with Troy again. Paris tries to avoid all-out war and fights 'angry hubby' himself, but it ends in abject humiliation for Paris who runs away - Hector (Eric Bana), Paris' brother, has to kill Helen's ex himself.

They are at war again for the rest of the movie...

What our panel of critics thought

"A lot has been written about Pitt's muscular body. It is nicely done but there is never a moment in the story when you feel that Arnie couldn't have whipped his blonde ass."

"Horribly vicious but in a delicious CGI sauce."

"Greek manly-muscle, female pertness, a nicely sweaty army - this movie seems to be set in a place where manliness and homoerotica live side-by-side. A disgrace from start to finish!"

"Oh! for heavens sake, you couldn't make this up. They deserved to die, letting that big wooden horse in like that..."

Please tell me the ending or plot overview if necessary

Achilles and Hector fight. Achilles kills Hector. After the promised 12 day respite in the war, the leaders of Troy believe the Gods have given them a wooden horse, however an elite group of Greek warriors are hiding inside it...

The horse is taken into the Troy fortification and, at night, the Greeks hiding in the horse, take the Troy army by surprise. During this melee, and while Achilles is trying to save his lover (cousin of Hector and Paris) Achilles is shot through the ankle by an arrow from the bow of Paris. Achilles dies.

Quotable quotes (real)

Achilles dying words: "You gave me peace in a lifetime of war."

Paris, after being humiliated by Helen of Troy's husband in a fight: "I gave up my pride, my honour, just to live."

Dr Bravisimo-Encore II Movie Review

It is difficult to express how highly one rates Wolfgang Petersen, the director of this movie. He is currently one of the greatest epic directors. He does not let us down in what is a magnificent achievement.

There was a time, about 20 years ago, when they said that this kind of 'sandals and skirts' epic would never be attempted again. Too expensive my dear fellow! Oh! how wrong those fools were. Thanks to CGI such a film has never been producable more cost effectively.

Some critics whine about the absence of the Gods! Gadzooks. How much money would they have cost? These critical plebs must surely not be movie accountants.

All in all this is a magnificent achievement. One is tempted to single out Orlando Bloom for particular praise as his vulnerability during the fight for Helen is almost unwatchabley painful, but Eric Bana, too, is beautifully, nervously, intelligently, played.

It's entertaining to hear Brad Pitt speaking in a James Bond type English accent and he is very memorable, although, when he shouts, Pitt seems to shout with a sort of American twang.

The music is hypnotic and the whole staging is lush in a wood and sand sense. The Greek scenery, as always, is super (even though the beach was filmed in Mexico).

Other comments

An impressive movie, with some beautiful performances.

What do you think?
 
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