American army boys (Maj. Archie Gates (George Clooney), Sfc. Troy Barlow (Mark Wahlberg), SSgt. Chief Elgin (Ice Cube), Pfc. Conrad Vig (Spike Jonze) find map of Iraq up a guy's ass. The map shows the location of a stash of gold. They go to find it in just post Gulf War 1991.

Moments of highly creative camerawork, Beach Boys music in the desert, guns, blowing up cows, talk of Michael Jackson, running and slow motion shooting in the head.

"Is this movie filmed in Hotavision? I think we should be told."

"It looked to me as if they had made a terrible movie naming error at the beginning of this piece. Surely it should have read Four Kings? That nice Trailer Trash White Boy never really had much of a chance did he?"

"All of the Beach Boy brilliance but without those boring surf boards."

"And we even get to see what Mark Wahlberg looks like with his shirt off, is this a first?"

"At last I see on the big screen what I have imagined for the last 10 years: Marky Mark being tortured with an electric current."

"Another triumph of movie accountancy, although the number three in the movie title had me worried throughout until that trailer trash punk got shot near the end."

"My favorite first ten minutes in a movie in years. Truly funny."

They find the gold but come across a desperate population crying out for help from the USA.

Our heroes leave the gold but take a group of Iraqis to the boarder to help them escape. They get court marshaled but get honorably discharged due to the reporting of a reporter.

A very perceptive time piece, a brilliantly stylistic achievement - has that rare movie with a message quality to it but one you will want to watch over and over.

Clooney and Wahlberg were the Hollywood heartthrob dream team in their time and nobody was disappointed. A hard and tough movie but with none of the leather bondage that combination might imply.

A movie that shows very visibly the desperate conditions which the allies left the Iraqi's in after the Gulf War in 1991 - we should all be ashamed of that time in history. This review was written just a month after the end of the next Gulf War (2003).

The shooting scenes, shot in very effective slow motion, are very fine, although it's a little unfortunate that in the first half they kill everyone of the rebels in the group they come across apart from the one who later goes on to torture Wahlberg's character.

Don't be put off by the pretty boys in this movie it is a very worthwhile effort. Truly something for everyone, although do not expect Wahlberg to reprise his triumphant willy waving performance in Boogie Nights.

We are told, by an unreliable drunk, that the CD used to make the Wahlberg character drink the oil during the torture scene, was an old Marky Mark CD.

6 - including 2 with camp fruity smile.

Hamburgers and fries.

In the sitting in the middle of a minefield blindfolded in a gas mask position of waiting for love.

Hmmm.... Not much time for the nookie-do in this movie, although Wahlberg and Clooney have made a handsome couple in Homo wet dreams throughout the world. A short moment of desk-bonking mayhem at the start, but Clooney soon pulls his pants on and no mention is made of his willy afterwards.

Dogs love Clooney and will whoop throughout the whole movie. Smaller dogs may, all of a sudden, start performing the back somersault flip.

Cats may run away on seeing Wahlberg's upper body, or at least give a shocked cry of pain as if being kicked violently (as we have mentioned elsewhere, cats find human nakedness painfully un furry).

Goldfish will enjoy the color of the picture as it matches the gunk you put at the bottom of their bowl when you tried to simulate that under ocean sand look.

A very good war movie without a lot of the really horrible stuff, but even so, this movie has just enough to be authentic, and yet remain a good actioner.

Has all of the claustrophobia you might expect in the situation they find themselves in, including all of the hopelessness of the Iraqi's, all the horribleness of war, including the politics which make the allies look deservingly bad.

The movie also has compensating moments of humor and effective performances all round. A movie that is an excellent time piece, not as good as Apocalypse Now - that is a masterpiece - but, still, this is a very very good war movie.