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Three Kings
Short plot summary

American army boys (Maj. Archie Gates (George Clooney), Sfc. Troy Barlow (Mark Wahlberg), SSgt. Chief Elgin (Ice Cube), Pfc. Conrad Vig (Spike Jonze) find map of Iraq up a guy's ass. The map shows the location of a stash of gold. They go to find it in just post Gulf War 1991.

What our panel of critics thought

"Is this movie filmed in Hotavision? I think we should be told."

"It looked to me as if they had made a terrible movie naming error at the beginning of this piece. Surely it should have read Four Kings? That nice Trailer Trash White Boy never really had much of a chance did he?"

"All of the Beach Boy brilliance but without those boring surf boards."

"And we even get to see what Mark Wahlberg looks like with his shirt off, is this a first?"

"At last I see on the big screen what I have imagined for the last 10 years: Marky Mark being tortured with an electric current."

"My favorite first ten minutes in a movie in years. Truly funny."

Please tell me the ending or whole plot if necessary

They find the gold but come across a desperate population crying out for help from the USA.

Our heroes leave the gold but take a group of Iraqis to the boarder to help them escape. They get court marshaled but get honorably discharged due to the reporting of a reporter.

Dr Bravisimo-Encore II Movie Review

A very perceptive time piece, a brilliantly stylistic achievement - has that rare movie with a message quality to it but one you will want to watch over and over.

Clooney and Wahlberg were the Hollywood heartthrob dream team in their time and nobody was disappointed.

A movie that shows very visibly the desperate conditions which the allies left the Iraqi's in after the Gulf War in 1991 - we should all be ashamed of that time in history.

The shooting scenes, shot in very effective slow motion, are very fine, although it's a little unfortunate that in the first half they kill every one of the rebels in the group they come across apart from the one who later goes on to torture Wahlberg's character.

Don't be put off by the pretty boys in this movie it is a very worthwhile effort. Truly something for everyone, although do not expect Wahlberg to reprise his triumphant willy waving performance in Boogie Nights.

Quotable quotes (real)
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to disrobe, like all the other towel heads."
"I didn't join the army to pull paper out of people's asses."
"What is the problem with Michael Jackson?"
"Saddam is coming to kill us."
"You are AWOL and you are in violation of American policy. You are under arrest."
Other comments

A very good war movie without a lot of the really horrible stuff, but even so, this movie has just enough to be authentic, and yet remain a good actioner.

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