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The Time Machine
Studio executives summary / pitch
Time traveling turn of the 19th century dude, invents 'twirling' time machine...
Short plot summary

HG Wells' turn of the century classic in which a man goes forwards in time to discover the future of mankind - all from the comfort of his own front room (until an earthquake destroys it...)

What our panel of critics thought

"That manic orchestra almost gave me a heart attack - just as soon as the picture gets scary the orchestra jumps up and screams at you. A joy, but not one for those with a weak bladder."

"George is a true gentleman - always putting his jacket on that young girl's shoulders after she has just been ravaged by a plot point. I thought chivalry died a long while ago, I am clearly mistaken."

"Oh, those naughty Morlocks: Lights for eyes, blue skin, midget beach-boy-type blond-haired monsters with big fluffy claws, but scared of fire? George could have scared them off by lighting a cigarette, but still he throws himself into it - pummeling them to within an inch of their lives. Superb. Professional wrestling was never the same after this movie."

"Blue skinned, bad hair day Morlock mayhem. I couldn't get enough of it! Was this what Lou Ferragino based his 1970's classic Incredible Hulk on? You know, apart from the color and those shiny eyes I think it's very likely."

Please tell me the ending or plot overview if necessary

A man has built a time machine. He goes forward in time to find a civilization which is populated by young, carefree guys'n'gals.

Our hero (George) befriends a gal he rescued from drowning (everyone watches without helping). George is frustrated by the apathetic nature of the others.

A siren calls the guys'n'gals into an underground building in a trance-like state.

George finds the gal he rescued from drowning, she tells him everything. It transpires that the world is run by the Morlocks who have battled and defeated the Eloi's. The Morlocks are evil and George fights them to free some of the captured, be-tranced pretty people.

George eventually finds his time machine (moved by the Morlocks) and returns to 1900 to tell his friends of his travels.

Ending: George returns (back) to the future with books he can presumably use to educate the guys'n'gals to fight the Morlocks and thus free everyone from their slavery.

Justify this movie's existence in the classic strand, by theVoiceofReason's Veritable Cornucopia

A veritable smorgasbord of time lapse excellence. Bravo!

One man and his time machine flitting through time into a future of gormless young pretty blond type youth with not a care for knowledge. My! what a grumpy boots our hero is, and that's even before he finds out that his time machine was moved by horrible-blue beach-boy-type well-built-shorties with whom he has to battle to return to his own time.

Lots of joyous screaming at the top of girls lungs and an orchestra determined to induce heart seizure, all combine along with wonderful colors and a reasonable script, to keep one entranced sub-hypnotically.

A good, solid, classic movie, and one which you may want to repeatedly watch for that quick taste of paradise, so swiftly taken away by those sirens of death.

What snack should I eat while watching this movie?

Big fruit - apples the size of a man's head. Oranges the size of melons.

If I were to watch this on video/DVD how best should I sit?

In the classic wine women and song position enjoyed by our forefathers at late 19th century toga parties.

Could this film be improved with more explosions?

The explosions, and fire in general, could do with some work. When the symbols of Morlock oppression eventually burst into flames it looks like a cheap model is being burned. Ten out of ten for saving money, but minus three million for reality.

Is there enough licky love in this film?

Surprisingly saucy.

Some half naked Morlock monster nudity (thankfully the top half).

A passionate kiss on the facial cheek - but nothing to upset an afternoon television audience.

How unintentionally funny is this film?

There is one hysterically funny moment when the woman George has rescued is pulled back and into the bushes by a fluffy pawed Morlock to screams from the orchestra... then she just walks back out again as if nothing happened...

George's anger is a little unbelievable and some of the explanations are a bit over wordy.

Does this film stand up to rigorous reality testing?

At the last count we have 11 dimensions now. So, unfortunately, the movie is wrong scientifically, close call though.

Would your house pets like this movie?

This is a movie for most exotic/unusual pets.

Parrots and other exotic birds will enjoy the almost-jungle scenery, choosing to noisily clean their feathers throughout and squawking in the quiet moments the orchestra isn't doing so.

Moles will enjoy the underworld moments and the fight sequence in particular.

Worms and larvae could well hatch/make a break for it when you are watching the screen. Ensure snakes are firmly secured.

What can I take from this movie to make me a better person?

BEWARE: Don't put an umbrella over your shoulder and twirl it quickly, you might be transported forwards in time.

Other comments

If you accept the overzealous orchestra which never misses a single attempt to make you jump, and the need for women to scream when in trouble, and ignore the burning scenery model's, this is a reasonably good, safe movie. The time lapse photography is superb for its time, the scenery colorful and the plot is not dumb.

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