Nuns give baby, Damien, to soon to be US ambassador to the UK. As Damien nears his fifth birthday it is becoming clear that big f-word off black dogs have taken a shine to him, and nursery nanny's like nothing better than to show off by hang-throwing themselves to their deaths for his amusement.

But apart from that, and a photographer who sees lightening sticking into a priest, and his mother being thrown to her death by Damien's nanny into an ambulance, and police shooting the father who is about to stab Damien in the heart to save the world, it all ends happily ever after.

"All the horror-camp-kitch you can imagine, apart from the Elvis impersonator."

"The Catholic church had an almighty pissy fit at this movie when it came out. 1976, was such a good year for Catholic bating. (Where did I put my Pope on a rope?)"

"Is this based on a true story?"

"I have all the time in the world for that lovely Gregory Peck. It's such a shame he didn't make it to the sequel."

"I have never ridden my tricycle with such gusto since!"

"I remember, during my childhood, my friend and I once crayoned 666 behind each other's ears and told everyone we were the devil. Oh such fun, although we recanted with vigor once those silver daggers came out!"

"Not since Mary Poppins, has the big screen seen such a punchy nanny. Bravisimo! And thankfully none of the supercallerfragilistick nonsense, although Lee Remick really could have put up a better fight had she been given an umbrella me thinks."

This movie presents to us a viciously deviltastic endeavor with all of the wit and whim the devil in a five year old's embodiment can suggest. A formerly consummate scarefest, however today the movie has suffered from the parodyests fate - its scariness has been worn down by humor so much so that today it is only moderately scary on the movie toaster scale: today it is only a number 3 movie toast, when in its day it was a full number 7.

The movie gamely attempts to scare everyone witless, using every technique in the book, and, yes, this movie also includes that timeless reference to Quasimodo (they even dared to include the bell, which dongs in the most scary place possible!) This bit is beyond parody it is so funny.

The movie has a delightfully Sunday (or fake sick day) morning feel to it. Some of it is still genuinely creepy, if a little over aught. All the marketing was thought through though, and we look forward to the next two movies with lessening anticipation... (See also The Omen2)

"On this night, God has given you a son, Mr Thorne..."

"We haven't much time... you must listen to what I have to say."

Anything with garlic and a silver eating implements.

A missed opportunity - had they asked us, we would have suggested giving Damien a whoopee cushion, or at least brown colored shaving foam. Alas, they did not ask. His floppy hat, though, makes up in part for our disappointment.

There are a couple of violent pratt falls, including a nanny throwing herself off a high floor to her death which, whilst executed perfectly, leaves nothing to the comedic elements.

Three licks, including one of Lee Remick's left ear (performed just as they are looking around their new London home).

It has a nasty-viscous feeling. A feeling that will lodge in the back of your mind and pop out if ever a violent wind picks up next time you are in an English churchyard.

Once the killing starts it never stops, each new one topping the previous one in devil-creativity - a joy! There is, thankfully, little blood, but the photographer's hairstyle could do with some work.

Damien doesn't say anything so we assume he had a really silly voice.

• Professor of the supernatural (unqualified)
• Tabloid reader (who has made a collection of cuttings)
• Catholic priest
• Fitness instructor
• Professional childminder with at least three criminal conviction

Always check behind the ear for 666, however if you happen to be in the UK at the time check it isn't 999 which is the number you ring for the police.

Around 15.

A small animatronic Damien with accessories including tricycle, and silver knives set.

There is no sincere attempts to shock by language, although Bugenhagen is a good attempt but this turns out to be a man's name.

The bit where the photographer sees the lines going into the priest is a little unlikely, although we did once have something similar ourselves in a set of holiday snaps once.

One of those 'must see' popular conscious movies of the mid 1970's. Damien, as a name for boys, dropped remarkably down the popularity tables after this movie was released.

The movie has dated and it's a little kitchy in places, especially the music which is a little too electronic and wobbly at times, although the choir based music makes up for much with its enthusiasm.

Try not to watch this movie on your own as going to sleep afterwards will be pointless. But if you must, keep the lights on and put a religeous friend on speed dial. Never recommend this movie to elderly relatives unless you are trying to kill them.

April 7, 2003